Fancy!

The premiere in Zurich saw more Miss/Mr Switzerlands than you could shake a stick at (one current, three former)!

Also present was Lys Assia, the first ever winner of Eurovision.

It turns out she really liked my act and thought that I was formidable.

How cool is that?

Fashion, Faut Pas

When you're on a tour in the circus, a rhythm sets in and things can sometimes get to be a little monotonous. But every so often, an exciting side gig or special event comes along and shakes things up a bit. I was lucky enough to be chosen for just such a special event when I was asked if I wouldn't mind being part of a photo shoot for one of Switzerland's most widely circulated magazines!

At first, I was really excited. I was the only one in the troupe who would be featured in the shoot, and they were even flying in a model from New York for one day only, just for one shoot at our little circus! I would be in my wheel in full costume and make-up and I was told that as a main feature in the magazine, the photo would take up at least a quarter of the page, maybe more.

But my excitement quickly turned into some serious feelings of insecurity.

The model was stunning. She was exactly what you would imagine if someone told you to picture a fashion model in your head. Tall, slender, blonde, cheekbones to die for... and when the camera started clicking, she easily maneuvered from one sultry pose to the next with barely a second in between positions.

Me? Well, at first they wanted me upside down. But then they decided I was "so cute" that I could stand upright behind the model. Yipee... where she is tall, I am quite short. Where she is slender, I am muscular, almost boxy by comparison. I swear, in the photos I saw afterward, I looked like a squat little dwarf...

Moreover, no one told me what to do or where I should look. So sometimes I looked at the model, sometimes the camera. I had a very limited range of movement because I was standing in the wheel and any shift in weight would have caused it to roll out of the position desired for the shot. I had no idea why I was even there.

In the photos I saw afterward, I mostly look like I hate the model and maybe want to murder her. In the ones that I thought I looked good, the model was typically shifting from one pose to another. In the ones where she looked good, I looked like I was going to do her bodily harm.

When I pointed this out to the photographer, he insisted I just looked proud. I'm not so sure about that. Fortunately, he said he could just take her from one photo and me from another to make one super photo. I really hope he does.

The entire thing left me feeling terribly self-conscious and unattractive. I know that people have different standards of beauty, and many people at the circus reassured me that they like the way I look way more than the model looked, but my self-worth seemed to have decreased considerably from when I got up in the morning.

One thing I really like about circus is that very often it shows women of many different body types. They range from the petite and fit hand-to-hand flyer, the strong and slender aerialist, the muscular firecracker acrobat, and everything in between. Circus showcases every kind of woman, for the most part*, healthy and strong, each and every one of them beautiful.

I know this to be true. But when all was said and done, I certainly didn't feel that way. And the blow was that much harder as it came at me from inside my own home. The entire thing shook me in ways that I can't express. They were made all the more confusing by events that would occur the following evening...



* Like many fields (or just plain life) where the body is subject public scrutiny, eating disorders lurk. Luckily, I haven't encountered it much in my career. But that is not a subject I wish to address at this time.

Dancing with the Stars

I may have been skeptical going in, but I’ve got to say, I had an absolute blast filming Dansent avec les stars. I worked with French pop singer Lorie, and her partner (and fellow Montrealer) Christian.

When it comes to things like this, most people try to have nothing to do with. Seeing as we filmed after that day’s show, I expected to find myself in an empty Chapiteau. But apparently I forgot to factor in the appeal of a star, even if she isn’t the brightest star in the celebrity sky.

I’m not going to lie, I felt pretty self-conscious speaking on camera with the whole troupe watching. I was suddenly extremely aware of how French is not my first language.

We started with me seated on stage and then panned over to Lorie and Christian coming down the bleachers towards me. Lorie had no idea what she was there to do, though I’m sure being at a circus couldn’t have filled her with much confidence. She was told she would be doing German wheel. She had no idea what it was. That’s when I volunteered to give her a demonstration.

The poor thing. I thought she was going to pass out when she saw me come on stage with my wheel. I mean, yeah, I did come in free hand. That would throw anybody off. And then I went into spirals, with more freehand, and a coin spin in full split. At least I didn’t show off with a triple...

As much as the entire thing was about getting interesting images for television, she was actually there for a reason. Apparently she was having trouble with the Viennese waltz. She would get dizzy from the spinning and find herself off balance. Wheel was somehow supposed to help with this.

Now I can see how on paper wheel spinning and waltz spinning might seem like the same thing. But in reality, I wasn’t entirely sure what the heck I was supposed to do with this girl. Especially since I found out only a few minutes before she arrived. I walked her through the same three exercises I would have put any beginner through and went into a great deal of detail about having your weight aligned over your feet, knowing where your body is in space and in relation to everything around you, and the general tips for balance and spatial orientation that would apply to just about anything dancey or acrobatic.

When she first stepped on, I thought we were going to be in trouble. But after a rocky start, she actually did quite well. I had loads of fun helping her and I think she really enjoyed the experience. Then I had both her and her partner try a coin spin, mostly because I knew there was no way they would be able to do it and it would make for some funny footage for the show. Poor Christian. He landed butt facing the camera. You know that’s going to make on to the show.

Unfortunately, I’ll have a show the night it airs. But then, I don’t have a television or internet access here, so it’s not like that changes very much. I just hope I’ll be able to find it online when I get back to Canada. After all, how many people can say they got to teach German wheel to a French pop singer as a consultant on the French version of Dancing with the Stars?

Curiouser and Curiouser

While waiting to hear news of the possible extensions and whether or not I would be compensated for any loses that would result of my returning to France, I received a phone call from the tour director. Never in my wildest dreams could I have guessed what he was about to propose.

I expected him to make one more plea to have me return on my dime but instead he asked if I would be willing to be on the French equivalent of Dancing with the Stars.

I’m sorry, what?

Somehow they managed to strike up some kind of a deal where one of the contestants on the show, some French version of Britney Spears, would need to learn to spin and twirl and where better that at the circus? I would do a little demo on wheel and then give her a “lesson”. There would also be footage of our show and the life around the circus.

A great bit of publicity for the circus, surely. But why the heck are they asking me this in the middle of negotiating all that other stuff? And they’re pushing to do it before I return to Canada, perhaps in hopes of getting one last bit out of me before I leave them for good.

I guess I’ll find out when we film tomorrow.

Live!

So... apparently I met the lead singer of Live one night before the show. If you're anything like me, you'll have no idea who Live is. The following video will likely result in a prolonged "oh" of recognition.



He seemed really nice but his concert was going on at almost the same time as our show. A bunch of people went to catch the tail end of this performance once we were done, but for me, food trumps music. Just like a rolling thunder chasing the wind... or something...

Star Struck

There was an electricity backstage before yesterday's performance. It may have been a Sunday, but the evil forces of a matinee are no match for the news that there is a star in the audience. And I don't use the term lightly. Our circus had the good fortune to be graced by the presence of an Academy Award winning actress! The lovely and talented French starlet Juliette Binoche!


This was one of the rare instances where a French celebrity came to see the show and I actually knew who they were. You may recognize her from such films as Chocolat, Paris je t'aime, The English Patient and the Three Colors trilogy.

Sadly, I didn't actually see her. I was told she was in row five, which is where I kept looking, while she was actually in row eight. But I am told she stood up for the curtain call. I know it seems silly, but I really would have liked to actually see her.

In every film I've seen her in, she always strikes me as such a lovely, strong woman with such great presence. I wonder what she thought of the show? And of course the vain streak in me really wonders what she thought of my number. I guess I'll never know...