At the moment, I can't write anything for this blog without feeling like a horrible person. I want to write about the experiences I've had on tour recently, but to be perfectly honest, I'm in a bit of a dark and twisty place these days and everything seems tinged with bitterness. Even posts that aren't even about my circus somehow end up about my circus and the angry feelings that have been surfacing lately. I suppose if I went into great detail as to why I feel the way I do, the posts would probably make sense and maybe even seem justified. But they would likely be very long and impossible to read.
Perhaps it's normal to feel this way after three years on the same tour. And I've certainly had to deal with more than my share of drama. Seriously, you can't even imagine. So until I figure out how to lessen these bitter and resentful feelings, I'm afraid this blog may become a little light in written content and focus a bit more on videos and fun pictures.
But if you're an artist and have any advice on how to work through difficult times in a company, I would really love to hear what you have to say. In the meantime, I guess I'll be heading down this road alone.
Enjoy the pics and videos.
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<3 As a housewife and not a traveling circus artist, I have no advice...just lots of love and support for you, friend. I hope your spirits improve, as well as your situation. xo
ReplyDeleteThanks, h. I'll take love and support any day :)
ReplyDeleteThree years on a show will take its toll on sanity. Doing the same stuff over and over - groundhog day in different settings all the time. Same venue, same people - different towns.
ReplyDeleteIt's OK to be dark. But with all it's sham, drudgery and broken dreams - it's still a beautiful world...