Remembering

This summer I had the good fortune to be in an original creation that my friend put together. Thanks to her, I got the kick in the ass I needed to finally do trapeze in front of an audience. More than anything, she believed in me when I didn't.

Working on her show was an incredible experience. I have been with my company since 2008 and have been very unhappy there for quite some time. It was so good to be part of something new, to be creating something new, and most importantly, to be working with enthusiastic people.

Most of the people at my company have been there 10 years plus. They always just want to go home. And artistically, the company has been doing the same stuff since pretty much forever. In fact, the initial concept for the next show was basically to have new artists redo material from previous shows. The new concept is that young artists find themselves in my circus' workspace and circus ensues. The concept of the current show is that the troupe finds themselves in a painter's workspace and circus ensues.

See what I'm getting at?

But I'm falling into my own bitterness here. The point I really want to make is that over the course of this particular creation, I remembered what it is I love about circus. And for the first time in maybe five years, I actually felt appreciated and recognized as an artist.

I got such great feedback from those watching from the outside during the creation process. From being told that I have great presence on stage, to how impressed they were with my level of technique. I don't care who you are or how long you've been working, it's always wonderful to have someone tell you that you're extremely talented.

But the most touching moment of all was when some of the younger artists in the production told me how much they loved working with me and that it was inspiring to be on stage with me.

With me? Really? Wow...

I was shocked. It has been so long since I've felt appreciated, so long since I've felt like someone recognized that I am really good at what I do... it came as a surprise to finally hear it. I was starting to wonder if I was the only one who thought I was any good!

It felt wonderful.

Without even noticing it, I became the kind of experienced artist that I've always looked up to. And that, my friends, is a great feeling.