Nerves

I've mentioned before that I tend to struggle with nerves. I spend a lot of energy on this. Worrying, fretting, general malaise, you know. It can be pretty exhausting. I've gotten better over time, but it's still an issue.

However, I suspect that that soon may change. It was the third or fourth show, though with all the run throughs it was actually the seventh or eight that week. With the hours of rehearsals leading up to the premiere, as well as nightly run throughs, we had been busting out 14 hour days every day that week. Needless to say, I was pooped.

So as I prepared for my number and began the usual whipping of nerves into a frenzy, something inside me held up it's hand and said "enough". I barely had enough energy to make it through the show, there was simply none to be spared for my nerves and my ego. It was kind of surprising, but also a welcomed relief. Will the exhaustion of this tour be the thing that lets me finally break free of my fear? I guess we'll find out in 8 months and 250 shows time...