New Adventures

After five years of back and forth between home and France, I've moved on to a new contract, a new company, and new country. In just over 24 hours I will be leaving home for 10 months, and heading toward the unknown.

And I, for one, am terrified.

You'd think that by now I'd be used to it. That packing up and taking off would be second nature. Or that I could charm just about anyone anywhere, no problem. New friends, new fit, old hat.

But the truth is, I'm terribly shy and am prone to raging bouts of insecurity. I'm awkward in groups and think sometimes I come off as stuck up, or anti-social. But really, I just don't always know how to find my place with new people. I'm much better one on one, and in a circus troupe, that's not always easy.

I keep thinking back to my camp days. It was very easy to get caught up in the session that just finished, but when a new session began and all the campers changed, we were always reminded that this new group didn't know those inside jokes, or share those memories. It was a new week, and we had to make room for new adventures, new jokes, and new stories.

I'm trying to go forward like that. Instead of thinking how hard my last contract was, and how I'm so scared that it will be like that again, that I'll feel alone, and out of place, and that it will all be the same, I try to remind myself that I have a fresh start, and a chance to have new adventures, make new jokes, and create new stories. The greater challenge will be to let go of the habits I picked up on my old job, and be open to new ways of creating, and a new (and undoubtedly very different) way of how things are run.

So far, I've heard tremendously good things about this company. That, and that it's really hard and a lot of work. But otherwise, just great.

All my equipment left before me. I guess the only thing left to do is join it, and find out just how hard and great it is for myself.

To Switzerland!

Memory Lane

Last night I was going through the hundreds and hundreds of photos I've taken since the beginning of my journey with my circus. I have one folder titled "The Arrival" and it consists of photos of C and I en route to Salins for the creation.

This is a photo of me with our combined luggage.


I'm not entirely sure how we managed to get there. But I do know I'm going to miss having her with me as I continue to navigate my way through France.

Happy Anniversary!

Two years ago today, I got a phone call that would forever change my life. Two years ago today I was hired by my circus.

Happy Anniversary Career!

Roll up! Roll up!

Have you ever wanted to run away and join the circus? Experience life under the Big Top? Fly through the air with the greatest of ease, be the daring young man on the flying trapeze? If so, welcome to Kicking Sawdust.

It all starts in four days. Well, you could say it started a little over a year ago. Although, four years ago might be more on the mark. But if you want to be really picky, then without a doubt, it started when I was six years old.

You see, I'm a professional circus artist. And while I may have graduated from circus school (yes, circus school. And a damn good one at that) in the spring of 2006, I've had relatively little work.

That is, until now.

Which brings me to 'Kicking Sawdust'. 'Kicking Sawdust' is old circus lingo from the heyday of American circus. It means to be on a show or to follow a show. I find the term to be a fitting name for this blog as I'm about to start on a show myself. And what better way for a non-circus type to follow a show than to read a first hand account of its progression?

I leave home for a new life under the Big Top in just four days. And while I have an idea of what's in store, I'm pretty sure I actually have no idea what's in store. So this is my invitation to you, dear reader, to join me while I learn what it takes to make a show, live in a troupe, survive the creative process and who knows what else! And for any aspiring young circus artists out there who may stumble upon this blog, I hope my experiences help you on your way to becoming the artist you want to be, from First of May to full out Kinker!