La Loi de l'Emmerdement Maximale

The only way I can think to write this post is as a long list of complaints. Personally, I don't really enjoy writing those kinds of posts, nor do I terribly enjoy reading those kinds of posts. And yet, when a series of events slides so far off base and so much goes so wrong, how else can you proceed?

Despite massive amounts of evidence suggesting that getting the show together in Voiron would be laborious at best, those in charge let personal relationships and what can only be described as denial guide us into two full days of misery.

As I mentioned in a previous post, A isn't here because he has a mad case of mono. C is replacing him and the director naively chose to believe that since C replaced him for two shows nine months ago, the transition would go smoothly. Only when C replaced A in Besac, he mostly just did the straps act. All of A's backstage cues were handed to other cast members. This was not the case here. And of course, A was at least in Besac and could be consulted for details and specifics. In Voiron, we are adrift.

Add to that the fact that the man who took most of A's manipulations in Besac isn't here either. His replacement is. So there's no asking P what to do either.

So we arrived in Voiron and proceeded as usual. Meaning we didn't meet until 2pm. The meeting found a very surprised group of people with a very packed rehearsal schedule. We had to rehearse all the moments with C. And we had to rehearse all the things that normally get rehearsed the day of a run through. We started the run at 9pm. When we got to the final act, the group trampo-wall number, we stopped. Everyone but the four main acrobats went back to the hotel. We, the acrobats, stayed past midnight making the act work. D isn't comfortable on trampoline and so she never took C's jumps. Without A, we're two people short in the act. There's only so much M, L and myself can do.

There's no denying the run-through was bad. And despite more rehearsals the morning of the premiere, the premiere wasn't much better. There were so many technical problems I can't even begin to name them all. C forgot the first of his newly acquired cues resulting in quite the impressive temps morts on stage. We're talking serious crickets. Unfortunately, the way it was dealt with meant that a later scene in the show no longer any made sense and so fell flat...

But the true gem is the moment where we set up the trampoline for the group act at the end. To put it mildly, there is no room. When people talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place they're talking about this moment.

The first time we tried it, we didn't realize just how little space we had. When we noticed that the structure was in the way, we naturally tried to push it further back. What we didn't realize is that there was a technical bridge in the way. We were pushing the bottom but the top was stuck on the bridge. I'm sure that in some alternate Universe the entire structure fell over, crushing L, C, and I to death. Fortunately, we just had the entire thing kick back and forcibly push us back to where we started.

Which brings us to the rock and hard place. One side of the trampoline is touching the curtain. The bass player, due to limited space on stage (what with a trapeze flying in his face and all) has to stand right up against the curtain, and therefore, the trampoline. As does the drummer. So there's no room on that side. But the other side has perhaps a margin of 10cm before the structure. Bear in mind, people need to walk back and forth between the trampoline and the structure, as well as the trampoline and the curtain. The whole thing just leads to much elbowing and suddenly finding yourself stuck between the trampoline and the structure because someone decided to get a little room elsewhere.

I've been pinched, crushed, bruised, had my head bashed, and formed blood blisters all by trying to set up the trampoline in this non-existent space. And the run isn't over yet.

Then there's the state of the music, the fact that we can't even hear the audience, the sound system crapping out (that was a fun show), the lighting system crapping out the same day as the sound system (fun fun fun), and my falling ill...

Nothing but good times.