Oh My...

Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure this isn't the image jugglers want you to have of them...

Triathlon Juggling

You read that right. Triathlon juggling. As in a triathlon while juggling.

That means the running, the cycling, and yes, the swimming. All while juggling...

I am far from the world's greatest juggler, and I know there's no way I could make it through a triathlon. So the idea of doing those two things simultaneously pretty much blows my mind.

I bring this up because someone has managed to pull off this impressive feat. A man by the name of Joe Salter.

If you're a "pics or it didn't happen" kind of person, I'll do you one better. Here's the video:

For the full article, go here.

Bref

The End is Nigh

I auditioned for my company at the end of 2007 and was officially hired on to the new show at the beginning of 2008. In 2009 I began to tour full time, and now, in September 2012, I'm about to head to Paris to perform with them for the last time.

This should be a time of reminiscing and gentle sighing, turning to no one in particular and wistfully asking "Where has the time gone?"And while I may have briefly been afflicted with graduation goggles, they have since been ripped clean off.

Every day this past week I would open my e-mail to find some new crisis developing for the upcoming set of shows.

Contents of my inbox.

"We have no ushers! Please forward this to anyone you know who might be interested!"

"We have no one to work the ticket counter! Please forward this to anyone you know who might be interested!"

"We're selling one of our computers! Please forward this to anyone you know who might be interested!"

Notice a pattern? And that's the tame stuff.

Next we're being told that due to poor ticket sales, certain promotions have been extended to cover the first six shows! Only people can't contact the office directly. They don't want to look desperate. All sales need to go through the artists...

A few days later, three shows are cancelled outright. The whole point of extending the tour into the fall of 2012 is to make money to be able to pay for the next show. Because if they don't, there is no next show. That's why we're taking a 21% pay cut in Paris. That's why they're hanging a possible two and a half months of extensions over our heads with no clear answer as to when this contract will officially end, making it extremely difficult for the more than half of us who were not asked to be in the new show to find work.

And now, the most rage inducing of all...

A few days ago I got an e-mail from a colleague asking if I got a call from the tour director. She did, but he only left a message and she wanted to know if I actually spoke with him because, "Grrr"

Not gonna lie, cryptic e-mails that end in "Grrr" don't sit too well with me. When I replied asking what the heck she was talking about, she was absolutely shocked that no one had called me. She figured that since I was coming from another continent I would be one of the first people they called!

You're probably thinking the worst, and I'm here to tell you that you're not too far off.

Things are still looking bad ticket-wise so the company has decided to push back the start of the run in Paris to the end of October. L learned this on Thursday. When I called the office, no one answered. It took an additional two days before anyone bothered to call me about this. I even had someone e-mail me about a ticket, someone who is in no way involved with the company, mention that she noticed the dates had changed. She is a member of the public and she knew about the change before I did.

I can't even begin to explain my rage.

Did I mention that I was informed of this change two days before my flight? I'm sorry but I have zero desire to dick around France for the next month while the company decides whether or not we're actually going to do any shows. And now I also have to plan a last minute, month-long stay in France? Brilliant. Just brilliant.

I'm beyond fed up. I just want this contract to end already. No, what I really want to do is go there, pick up all my stuff, head home and to hell with them. It barely seems worth it to go back for 13 dates that are looking less and less likely to even occur as the days go by.

After everything that has happened, especially in the last year, I have reached my limit. As heartless as it may seem, at this point, I feel like they've brought all this upon themselves and that they are responsible for the disaster that seems to be heading their way.

Sinking ship indeed...

Remembering

This summer I had the good fortune to be in an original creation that my friend put together. Thanks to her, I got the kick in the ass I needed to finally do trapeze in front of an audience. More than anything, she believed in me when I didn't.

Working on her show was an incredible experience. I have been with my company since 2008 and have been very unhappy there for quite some time. It was so good to be part of something new, to be creating something new, and most importantly, to be working with enthusiastic people.

Most of the people at my company have been there 10 years plus. They always just want to go home. And artistically, the company has been doing the same stuff since pretty much forever. In fact, the initial concept for the next show was basically to have new artists redo material from previous shows. The new concept is that young artists find themselves in my circus' workspace and circus ensues. The concept of the current show is that the troupe finds themselves in a painter's workspace and circus ensues.

See what I'm getting at?

But I'm falling into my own bitterness here. The point I really want to make is that over the course of this particular creation, I remembered what it is I love about circus. And for the first time in maybe five years, I actually felt appreciated and recognized as an artist.

I got such great feedback from those watching from the outside during the creation process. From being told that I have great presence on stage, to how impressed they were with my level of technique. I don't care who you are or how long you've been working, it's always wonderful to have someone tell you that you're extremely talented.

But the most touching moment of all was when some of the younger artists in the production told me how much they loved working with me and that it was inspiring to be on stage with me.

With me? Really? Wow...

I was shocked. It has been so long since I've felt appreciated, so long since I've felt like someone recognized that I am really good at what I do... it came as a surprise to finally hear it. I was starting to wonder if I was the only one who thought I was any good!

It felt wonderful.

Without even noticing it, I became the kind of experienced artist that I've always looked up to. And that, my friends, is a great feeling.

That's Totally How It's Done

It's Official

I am officially an aerialist. While this event is probably what sealed the deal, for me, the moment I truly became an aerialist was the night of my first performance in front of a paying audience.

I should mention that I was a wreck. I was so incredibly nervous it's not even funny. I was literally in tears backstage before I had to go on. I just wanted to get through my act without looking like an idiot. There were one or two moves that I was a little worried about messing up and really, as long as I managed to get through them successfully, I would be happy.

Did I mention that there were casting agents from Cirque du Soleil, as well folks from Cirque Eloize and les 7 doigts de la main? Not to mention a bunch of folks from my alma mater who told me I couldn't be an aerialist. So yeah, nervous.

And then something marvelous happened...

I went on stage, got on my trapeze, and felt amazing. I was shocked when people started clapping after my first technical sequence. I mean, I've been on tour for the last four years. I know that the audience claps. But I'm used to it happening with German wheel. I guess I thought trapeze would be different somehow.

Every trick worked, and artistically, I felt super connected to what I was doing. But best of all, I loved it up there.

I don't know that I can really articulate that feeling. Not how good it felt to be up there, but the fact that it felt good to be up there. Ever since starting trapeze, I've always felt that I would still rather work with wheel. I couldn't imagine not working with my wheel and doing trapeze somewhere instead. It just seemed impossible. I just love doing German wheel so much! And yet here I was, on a trapeze in front of an audience and just having the most wonderful time.

I'm still not too sure what to make of it.

I also did a wheel act in that show and I'm sorry to say that it was a bit of a gong show. I'm not used to doing two high level acts in one show. Usually I do my main act, and a bunch of other stuff. This was two main acts and a bunch of other stuff. Whew! And I'm not going to lie, my mind was on trapeze that night. That was the most important thing for me. I couldn't adapt to the floor where we performed (it is WAY faster than where we rehearsed) and my timing was just all over the damn place. Fortunately, that act was a duo and my partner and I are both super charming and have great presence, so the audience loved us anyway. Seriously, when someone tells you they just wanted to see the two of us make out at the end of our act, you know we did our job.

While I may not have had any of all those casting people come up to me, I did have a lot of people tell me that my act was their favourite, be it wheel or trapeze. And I had a great many Russian artists from Soleil make a point of shaking my hand and telling me that I did a good job. And if anyone knows what the hell they're talking about, it's them. So that meant a lot.

So watch out, world of circus! There's a new aerialist in town!

Isn't It Though?

Brazil

So... hey. I performed in Brazil last month. I probably should have brought that up sooner.

The last time my company performed in Brazil was kind of a disaster. Not in the sense that the show was poorly received. Not that at all. It was just that all the material for the show arrived three days later than expected and theatre was just massacring the artists (umbrella spine through someone's leg, nose smashed in by a double bass, the usual).

For the most part, things went much more smoothly this time around. True, the audience wasn't as full as the last time, but at least this time everyone left intact. There was, however, one monumental moment of drama.

As always, it was a show like any other. And then, during the second to last act, the point used for the two aerial acts decided it had had enough and just ceased to function. It would no longer go up or down. This was during the dance trapeze act, and act which has a whole helluva a lot of going up and down.

At this point in the show, those who aren't directly implicated in the trapeze act are busy setting up the structure and trampoline for the finale. Fortunately, we've gotten good at this and it happens really fast.

I say fortunately, because right around the time we managed to set everything up, things started to get a little crazy backstage.

The technician that mans the ropes during the trapeze act was yelling for assistance and everyone with a free hand was trying to fix the unknown problem. You know that wall of ropes that controls all the fly bars and whatnot in a theatre? Well A decided that the best course of action was to climb those ropes and hack at the rigging of the trapeze.

The aforementioned ropes

While this successfully dislodged a sandbag from the ceiling, a sandbag that had the courtesy not to land on anyone I might add, it did nothing to help the trapeze situation.

It was at about this time that F, the technician in charge of pulling the trapeze act, started yelling at D to get off the trapeze and, well, off the stage. B decided that the best course of action was to go on stage and dance around while the rest of us scrambled to get the next scene in place, but despite our good intentions, we had to stop. We managed to get the trapeze a little higher, and while it was technically out of the way for the trampoline number, holy crap, it was still just above the trampoline!

Notice the painting that is the shadow

of the trapeze? Awesome.

Like I said, it wasn't technically in the way, but seeing a trapeze hanging over where you're about to jump... it shakes you up a little bit.

The technicians were worried it would be a seven hour repair job, but thanks to a mysterious length of cable hiding in one of the trunks, it only took about two and a half hours. And hey, this time no one bled, so that's kind of a win, right?

Getting Some Sense Knocked Into Me

I've been training pretty hard this summer. I did receive a grant to do just that, after all. The goal was two fold: solidify my technique (and maybe learn some new skills along the way) and finish my act.

In a way, I've achieved both my goals (more on that in another post) but at the same time, I know my act can be better. So the past couple of weeks have been dedicated to, well, getting my act together.

My coach and I have been going over and over all the transitions that weren't up to par, cleaning them up, making them more interesting, clarifying the intention. It's been a great process but it hasn't been going as quickly as I would have hoped. And while I don't think I'm overdoing it, the Universe seems to disagree with me.

Two days ago, during what was shaping up to be a pretty awesome improv, I thought I broke my rib. I was in this weird position and I heard this horrible cracking sound and had sharp pain shoot through my ribs and upper abdomen. More than anything, I was super scared. In the end, I think I just pulled something. And for the most part, I can still train. Every so often I'll do a move that results in sharp stabbing pain, in case I forgot that I am, in fact, a wee bit injured.

And then there was yesterday. Things were going great. I proposed some new parameters for the improvs and they were getting results. That's when I knocked the protection of the weight off my trapeze and then immediately got hit full in the mouth.

I split my lip open, but not so badly that I needed stitches. While everyone assured me that my teeth looked fine, I could tell something was up. They felt like they had shifted in my mouth. Fortunately, my dentist is awesome and agreed to squeeze me in that afternoon.

I know my teeth were out of place because en route to the dentist they kind of shifted back into place. In case you're wondering, that doesn't feel good. Apparently, things are pretty much under control. There's a slight fissure in one tooth, and a chip, but both are in back of the tooth and apparently nothing I need to worry about right now. There is a chance that the trauma will cause the nerve in my tooth to die, in which case I would need a root canal. Let's all hope that doesn't happen. Apparently my dentist's sister-in-law got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and it took two years before her tooth died. Yippee...

The good news is I have big nerves and that means lots of blood can keep getting where it needs to go. Let's just hope it goes there. Also, my dentist didn't charge me! Did I mention he's awesome?

My tooth is a bit loose, but that should sort itself out too. In the meantime, I just have really sore teeth and a bit pressure in my sinuses. I'm also on a soft food diet for the next two weeks. And here I am almost out of oatmeal.

The points I have to train on are super shitty. There's no other way to say it. They bounce, refuse to stay even, and swing like a crazed person trying to hit a pinata. Less than a month ago another girl split her lip open and needed stitches, plus she chipped one tooth and cracked another. And the day before I got hit in the face, a guy split the back of his head open on one of his weights and needed stitches.

That point is thirsty for blood.

All that to say that after two injury filled training days in a row, I am going to listen to the Universe and take today off lest it sends me a more obvious message that I need a break.

Truth

All Kinds of Awesome

Because that's what this is.

A Bit of Poetry

damn everything but the circus!

damn everything
that is grim, dead, motionless,
unrisking
inward turning.
damn everything
that won’t get into the circle,
that won’t enjoy,
that won’t throw its heart
into the tension
surprise
fear
and delight of the circus,
the round world,
the full existence.

- e.e. cummings