The tour schedule as of late has been nothing short of hellish. To say that everyone is exhausted would be an understatement. Typically, Sundays and Wednesdays consist of a matinee, build down, and transport. Then on Mondays and Thursdays we have build up in the morning, and the rest of the day off.
But for the month of July, we have had build up and a show on Mondays, leaving only Thursday afternoon and evening off. The temperature in the tent during performances has been in the high twenties to low thirties, and humid. Plus, we've been in the mountains, so the higher altitude has also been kicking our asses. Most days I feel weak and exhausted. I seem to have done a number on my shoulder (not to mention the continuing saga that is my back) and while the osteopath I saw told me I was on the brink of exhaustion and not to work for a few days, well, the show must go on. So much for getting better... At night, I read for a bit and then go to sleep.
And I am not alone. Pretty much everyone is just trying to make it from one show to the next. We have one artist working with a hernia, another who was in so much pain she was in tears before and during her act, another who, at 19 years of age, has thrown out his back, plus one of the clowns working on messed up ankle.
But the worst part, the very worst part of all, is that we're killing ourselves with this schedule and the tent is practically empty. I could understand really wanting to push the number of shows if we were playing to a packed house, but we've been consistently at 12% capacity for the past two weeks.
Now I've always tried to go in with the attitude that whatever the size of the crowd, those people paid to be there and deserve to see a quality show. But for the first time in my life, I've found myself cursing in my head when I take that first step on stage and see mostly empty seats.
Why is there that extra Monday show when they know Monday shows don't sell? Why are we doing four shows per town that are only filled to 12% when we could just as easily do two or three shows to more sizable crowds, especially in towns where they know from past experience that the crowds aren't there? And why, why such a heavy workload now (again, to an empty tent) when in the next three months we have almost as many shows to do as we've done in the last five months?
The resentment is growing and I'm really starting to feel angry. Three months to go is one thing, actually making it to the end is another...
Showing posts with label Injury. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Injury. Show all posts
Monday, August 19, 2013
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Net Rescue
Ever wonder what happens when there's a circus accident in the circus? The following video demonstrates (if not a little over dramatically) how a net rescue is executed by Cirque du Soeil.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
The “Poor Me” Pity Parade
Warning: This post is long and ranting due to an accumulation of months of bullshit.
It was a show like any other, and then an event of a cataclysmic scale rocked the backstage. My wheel did not get up onto the ramp to get on stage. Well, one of the rims didn’t. And so, I tipped over a little. From the inside, it was all very slow and gentle. One of my cast mates struggled to right me, I came to rest against the décor, and eventually was shifted back on to the stage. While unfortunate, this was not the cataclysmic event…
When I got off stage after my act, I expected my cast mates to see if I was okay and then we’d all have a good laugh about what had happened. But no, that was not to be. The disaster of disasters had occurred.
Apparently my wheel smashed PM in the face and then her head was smashed into a pole that holds up the shelving units. It was all about P now.
PM, I should mention, is always hurt. There’s always something. It might be her thumb. It might be collapsing in a heap backstage after her act, right where the most traffic is, because it was too hot/hard to breathe/other. It might be one of her myriad dietary restrictions that is somehow upsetting her. She might just be off brooding. And this? Getting hit in the head with my wheel? This was the End Times.
Of course it was entirely my fault. At least, so it was according to her. Wow did she ever rage about how I never do my marks correctly and never do anything right! Except for those other 115 shows that came before. I have no doubt that after I had set my marks that the carpet was readjusted. Our Artist Director had decided that, in order for the workers to better dig the trench around the big top more efficiently, she would pull the carpets and boards away from the perimeter of the tent after they had been placed. It was the first time she had done that. I usually do my marks before the trench gets dug. Once the carpets were put back, they were kind of a mess and full of scrunches. As there had never been a problem before, I didn’t bother to check the marks again. But a difference of a couple of cm really can alter the course of the wheel, especially if the angle is changed. Heck, when I roll my wheel from its start position to the ramp to see if it’s correct (that’s about 1.5m) and then roll it back, it never arrives back on the marks. Never. A bumpy dirt floor will do that. It doesn’t take much.
That being said, for two days PM managed to do her act, though she took out one or two tricks. Her friends were there and I suppose she wanted to impress. But then her friends left, and suddenly things got a lot worse. It must be a concussion. Or a brain bleed (seriously). Something terrible anyway.
At this point I should probably mention that I didn’t realize the wheel even hit her. Which is odd considering I can feel the texture of the floor when I’m rolling on it. And anytime I’ve ever hit anything, I’ve been very much aware of it. When you hit something with any kind of force, you feel it in your entire body. It was only three days later that I realized that what I thought was coming to rest against the décor was actually the famous blow. It was about then that my jaw hit the floor because that was about as tame a bump as you can possibly get from a German wheel. Of course it also made sense as far as the series of events went. The wheel was being held up and braced as it fell over. It didn’t just crash toward the ground.
Meanwhile, PM went to the doctor, had her brain scanned and all kinds of tests done and then it was discovered that there was… nothing. Nothing at all.
When you’re the Grand Marshall of the never ending “Poor Me” Pity Parade, “nothing” suddenly makes you look like maybe you might just be seeking attention. Not that that’s every stopped a Pity Parade.
In a tone of suffering, PM would tell anyone who asked how she was doing that there was no bleeding in the brain (there might have been!) and when she was asked if she had a concussion there was a lot of “Well, no, but…” and then a great deal more tales of suffering. Eventually, the answer to the concussion question was transformed to a yes…
That’s when things really started to get suspicious. We were doing a gala when suddenly PM was complaining of terrible headaches. She could then be found sitting backstage, a shawl wrapped around her shoulders, now wearing glasses, and the kind of noise blocking earmuffs you would find on a construction site. Three days after the event, the situation had dramatically gone down hill.
It was only after the gala, when I was back in my caravan that I remembered that P had spent the first half of the show plugged into her ipod. Other elements of the story no longer seemed to make sense. Symptoms, actions, and the timeline did not fit together. Whenever the discrepancies were pointed out, the story changed.
For a while I thought I was the only one to see through the charade. But when asked if she would be doing the group acro act, the reaction to her response was one of giggles and rolled eyes. One of the artists could be heard to say “Oh yes, she’ll do it, but not without making sure you know she’s going to suffer through it.” When another artist pointed out that she didn’t look good, the immediate reaction from one of the other artists present was that “Things don’t always look the way they are.”
Naturally, PM was in tears after the acro act and hasn’t done the show since.
What I consider the final word is that from the Director of Artists. She confirmed that the scans showed nothing, that nothing was wrong, and that P had what is known as cranial trauma, otherwise known as, she got hit in the head. I often wonder if the Director of Artists really believed the Parade. I mean, she did say PM could skip her act and the group acro number, but still had her do trapeze for a number of shows. At this point, the DA just keeps saying, if she just does nothing, it will heal faster. Which is probably true, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s not just the easiest way of avoiding the never ending Pity Parade.
All I know is that I’m over it. I’m over asking how she is and feeding the hunger for attention. Any time I have ever offered any kind of advice, solution, or alternative to one of her many problems, I was always met with a sad voice saying “No, that won’t work with me because [insert reason for being different/special/irreparable here]” She doesn’t want to get better. She wants someone to feel sorry for her and to smother her with attention. And I, for one, am done wasting my time and energy on that shit.
It was a show like any other, and then an event of a cataclysmic scale rocked the backstage. My wheel did not get up onto the ramp to get on stage. Well, one of the rims didn’t. And so, I tipped over a little. From the inside, it was all very slow and gentle. One of my cast mates struggled to right me, I came to rest against the décor, and eventually was shifted back on to the stage. While unfortunate, this was not the cataclysmic event…
When I got off stage after my act, I expected my cast mates to see if I was okay and then we’d all have a good laugh about what had happened. But no, that was not to be. The disaster of disasters had occurred.
Apparently my wheel smashed PM in the face and then her head was smashed into a pole that holds up the shelving units. It was all about P now.
PM, I should mention, is always hurt. There’s always something. It might be her thumb. It might be collapsing in a heap backstage after her act, right where the most traffic is, because it was too hot/hard to breathe/other. It might be one of her myriad dietary restrictions that is somehow upsetting her. She might just be off brooding. And this? Getting hit in the head with my wheel? This was the End Times.
Of course it was entirely my fault. At least, so it was according to her. Wow did she ever rage about how I never do my marks correctly and never do anything right! Except for those other 115 shows that came before. I have no doubt that after I had set my marks that the carpet was readjusted. Our Artist Director had decided that, in order for the workers to better dig the trench around the big top more efficiently, she would pull the carpets and boards away from the perimeter of the tent after they had been placed. It was the first time she had done that. I usually do my marks before the trench gets dug. Once the carpets were put back, they were kind of a mess and full of scrunches. As there had never been a problem before, I didn’t bother to check the marks again. But a difference of a couple of cm really can alter the course of the wheel, especially if the angle is changed. Heck, when I roll my wheel from its start position to the ramp to see if it’s correct (that’s about 1.5m) and then roll it back, it never arrives back on the marks. Never. A bumpy dirt floor will do that. It doesn’t take much.
That being said, for two days PM managed to do her act, though she took out one or two tricks. Her friends were there and I suppose she wanted to impress. But then her friends left, and suddenly things got a lot worse. It must be a concussion. Or a brain bleed (seriously). Something terrible anyway.
At this point I should probably mention that I didn’t realize the wheel even hit her. Which is odd considering I can feel the texture of the floor when I’m rolling on it. And anytime I’ve ever hit anything, I’ve been very much aware of it. When you hit something with any kind of force, you feel it in your entire body. It was only three days later that I realized that what I thought was coming to rest against the décor was actually the famous blow. It was about then that my jaw hit the floor because that was about as tame a bump as you can possibly get from a German wheel. Of course it also made sense as far as the series of events went. The wheel was being held up and braced as it fell over. It didn’t just crash toward the ground.
Meanwhile, PM went to the doctor, had her brain scanned and all kinds of tests done and then it was discovered that there was… nothing. Nothing at all.
When you’re the Grand Marshall of the never ending “Poor Me” Pity Parade, “nothing” suddenly makes you look like maybe you might just be seeking attention. Not that that’s every stopped a Pity Parade.
In a tone of suffering, PM would tell anyone who asked how she was doing that there was no bleeding in the brain (there might have been!) and when she was asked if she had a concussion there was a lot of “Well, no, but…” and then a great deal more tales of suffering. Eventually, the answer to the concussion question was transformed to a yes…
That’s when things really started to get suspicious. We were doing a gala when suddenly PM was complaining of terrible headaches. She could then be found sitting backstage, a shawl wrapped around her shoulders, now wearing glasses, and the kind of noise blocking earmuffs you would find on a construction site. Three days after the event, the situation had dramatically gone down hill.
It was only after the gala, when I was back in my caravan that I remembered that P had spent the first half of the show plugged into her ipod. Other elements of the story no longer seemed to make sense. Symptoms, actions, and the timeline did not fit together. Whenever the discrepancies were pointed out, the story changed.
For a while I thought I was the only one to see through the charade. But when asked if she would be doing the group acro act, the reaction to her response was one of giggles and rolled eyes. One of the artists could be heard to say “Oh yes, she’ll do it, but not without making sure you know she’s going to suffer through it.” When another artist pointed out that she didn’t look good, the immediate reaction from one of the other artists present was that “Things don’t always look the way they are.”
Naturally, PM was in tears after the acro act and hasn’t done the show since.
What I consider the final word is that from the Director of Artists. She confirmed that the scans showed nothing, that nothing was wrong, and that P had what is known as cranial trauma, otherwise known as, she got hit in the head. I often wonder if the Director of Artists really believed the Parade. I mean, she did say PM could skip her act and the group acro number, but still had her do trapeze for a number of shows. At this point, the DA just keeps saying, if she just does nothing, it will heal faster. Which is probably true, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s not just the easiest way of avoiding the never ending Pity Parade.
All I know is that I’m over it. I’m over asking how she is and feeding the hunger for attention. Any time I have ever offered any kind of advice, solution, or alternative to one of her many problems, I was always met with a sad voice saying “No, that won’t work with me because [insert reason for being different/special/irreparable here]” She doesn’t want to get better. She wants someone to feel sorry for her and to smother her with attention. And I, for one, am done wasting my time and energy on that shit.
Friday, June 28, 2013
Stern Words
The tale of Y's ankle injury goes on and the bulk of the burden appears to be falling (unfairly, in my opinion) on the trio as a whole. When Y finally did get back from the doctor's office he announced that he was still unable to jump or do any lifting for another two weeks. Naturally, trio member M took that to mean that Y wouldn't be doing the act and that the trio would continue to operate as a duo until Y was healed.
The circus did not agree. They'd had about enough of Y's bullshit, and rightly so. He may not have been able to do the group acro number, or the trio for which he was hired, but there are other group scenes, other moments. It was time he was back in the show doing at least something warrant the salary he was still earning.
At dinner the night of his return he was flat out told he would be doing the show that night, that the medical visits were arranged so that the trio would have time to rehearse and make the necessary changes to their act, and that nothing short of a trio would be tolerated. He made many excuses, shifted a lot of the blame onto his partners, and only shut up when told that if the director of the circus had to be brought into this, he would be very angry.
Eventually, the trio was brought in for a meeting with both the director of the circus and the director of artists. All I can say for certain is that it was extremely upsetting for the other two members of the trio who have been busting their asses to fulfill the terms of their contract and keep the trio in good light.
So far, tensions seem to have been eased. But seeing as this has been a roller coaster of a journey for the last two months or more, I don't see the issue as having been put to bed. I guess we'll have some more news in two weeks...
The circus did not agree. They'd had about enough of Y's bullshit, and rightly so. He may not have been able to do the group acro number, or the trio for which he was hired, but there are other group scenes, other moments. It was time he was back in the show doing at least something warrant the salary he was still earning.
At dinner the night of his return he was flat out told he would be doing the show that night, that the medical visits were arranged so that the trio would have time to rehearse and make the necessary changes to their act, and that nothing short of a trio would be tolerated. He made many excuses, shifted a lot of the blame onto his partners, and only shut up when told that if the director of the circus had to be brought into this, he would be very angry.
Eventually, the trio was brought in for a meeting with both the director of the circus and the director of artists. All I can say for certain is that it was extremely upsetting for the other two members of the trio who have been busting their asses to fulfill the terms of their contract and keep the trio in good light.
So far, tensions seem to have been eased. But seeing as this has been a roller coaster of a journey for the last two months or more, I don't see the issue as having been put to bed. I guess we'll have some more news in two weeks...
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Nearing the Final Straw?
There have been a number of injuries on this tour, but none have been as frustrating or saga like as that of Y. His regular problematic tendencies aside, Y's ankle injury resulted in missing three weeks of shows. When he returned to the doctor to get the okay to come back to work, he was told he had to take an additional two weeks off. The chap hired to replace him was only available for the first three week period and so the two remaining members of the trio cobbled together a duo version of their act that later integrated the two clowns.
It was assumed that after the tour break he would be returning to the show. He had a doctor's appointment scheduled for 9:30am on the first day back. The higher ups gave him many a time table so that he could get a train back from wherever he went on vacation so that he would be back on time. Y, however, only got back at 2am, was unable to get up for his appointment, and missed it entirely.
Needless to say, the circus was not amused.
It's four hours before show time and no one has seen head nor tails of him. It's unlikely that the trio have time to rehearse before the sold out premiere, and that's even if Y is fit to return to work. I'm pretty sure the circus is within it's rights to terminate his contract, if not now, very soon. I, for one, am very curious to see how all this will play out.
It was assumed that after the tour break he would be returning to the show. He had a doctor's appointment scheduled for 9:30am on the first day back. The higher ups gave him many a time table so that he could get a train back from wherever he went on vacation so that he would be back on time. Y, however, only got back at 2am, was unable to get up for his appointment, and missed it entirely.
Needless to say, the circus was not amused.
It's four hours before show time and no one has seen head nor tails of him. It's unlikely that the trio have time to rehearse before the sold out premiere, and that's even if Y is fit to return to work. I'm pretty sure the circus is within it's rights to terminate his contract, if not now, very soon. I, for one, am very curious to see how all this will play out.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Oh No! Not Again!
If there's an award for Season With Most Injuries, I think that the tour of 2013 is a heavy contender to win it.
Our costume woman was trying to get into her compartment after the stairs had been put away for transport and didn't quite make it. The resulting fall left her with a dislocated shoulder and a minimum of three weeks on the side lines.
It's incredible how the absence of just one person can weigh so heavily on a circus. Build up and tear down are a fast and furious frenzy, and when someone is missing, it's as though the entire circus stumbles over itself. If one step in the process is delayed, somehow no one can do their job properly! X can't be done until Y is completed, but Y can't be completed unless Z is moved out of the way and so forth and so on. And that's just build up and tear down. There are all the day to day tasks as well.
Here's wishing M a speedy recovery and even more importantly, that things settle down on the injury front.
Our costume woman was trying to get into her compartment after the stairs had been put away for transport and didn't quite make it. The resulting fall left her with a dislocated shoulder and a minimum of three weeks on the side lines.
It's incredible how the absence of just one person can weigh so heavily on a circus. Build up and tear down are a fast and furious frenzy, and when someone is missing, it's as though the entire circus stumbles over itself. If one step in the process is delayed, somehow no one can do their job properly! X can't be done until Y is completed, but Y can't be completed unless Z is moved out of the way and so forth and so on. And that's just build up and tear down. There are all the day to day tasks as well.
Here's wishing M a speedy recovery and even more importantly, that things settle down on the injury front.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Three Plus
I've already written about the two injuries/illnesses resulting in missed shows. I've also mentioned that there's a saying I picked up in my last circus that there's never two without three. It's a silly superstition, of course. But it's also a superstition that, time and time again, comes to pass. And it did so ages ago. I haven't written about it though because it has been such an on going drama that I've mostly just been waiting for the saga of injury number three to reach it's stunning conclusion.
While C missed two shows due to his ankle and our bandleader missed a weekend's worth of performances, the trio has missed more performances than I can count. It doesn't help that there are three of them. It seems that someone always has some kind of injury that necessitates at least an adapted version of the act. But one of the three is particularly... problematic*.
He has a tendency to wander by, exclaim that he will not be doing the act that day, and then leave without further explanation. Sometimes it's because he feels sick. Sometimes it's because he hurts a little bit. Sometimes we don't even know. One time he didn't perform his act, with much eye-rolling from the rest of us, because he stubbed his toe during the group acro number. It hurt too much to jump, you see...
For the most part, he gets told by the higher ups to take an anti-inflammatory or some cold medicine and just suck it up. I mean, we're acrobats in the circus. We all hurt some (most) of the time. But we've also all signed a contract, and taking care of ourselves so that we can work is our responsibility and very much a part of the job. Needless to say, when he declared that his ankle hurt and couldn't do his act but was seen playing soccer for two hours a day earlier, he was handed a roll of tape, some ibuprofen, and was told to do his job.
This went on for what felt like ages. I don't know how many MRIs he's gone for at this point, but each time he's told that yes, there's a thing, but it's not a big deal and he can keep working. And so he comes backstage, hems and haws about whether or not he's going to do his act, or maybe one of the other group acts, and the rest of us sigh, roll our eyes, and let his two partners deal with him.
But now, the entire situation seems to have come to a head. He came off stage in tears the other day and after yet another round of medical visits and a week of missed performances, he's been told that he can't work on his ankle for at least three weeks. And while I hate to say it, after so much crying wolf, one can't help but wonder if that isn't what he wanted all along...
But this is the circus and the show must go on. An act is missing and that simply will not do. And so, the quest to find a temporary replacement has begun...
* Oh, the venting... the venting I could do! But it seems unfair to devote an entire post to how one person doesn't even come close to pulling his weight. It's still pretty early in the season though...
While C missed two shows due to his ankle and our bandleader missed a weekend's worth of performances, the trio has missed more performances than I can count. It doesn't help that there are three of them. It seems that someone always has some kind of injury that necessitates at least an adapted version of the act. But one of the three is particularly... problematic*.
He has a tendency to wander by, exclaim that he will not be doing the act that day, and then leave without further explanation. Sometimes it's because he feels sick. Sometimes it's because he hurts a little bit. Sometimes we don't even know. One time he didn't perform his act, with much eye-rolling from the rest of us, because he stubbed his toe during the group acro number. It hurt too much to jump, you see...
For the most part, he gets told by the higher ups to take an anti-inflammatory or some cold medicine and just suck it up. I mean, we're acrobats in the circus. We all hurt some (most) of the time. But we've also all signed a contract, and taking care of ourselves so that we can work is our responsibility and very much a part of the job. Needless to say, when he declared that his ankle hurt and couldn't do his act but was seen playing soccer for two hours a day earlier, he was handed a roll of tape, some ibuprofen, and was told to do his job.
This went on for what felt like ages. I don't know how many MRIs he's gone for at this point, but each time he's told that yes, there's a thing, but it's not a big deal and he can keep working. And so he comes backstage, hems and haws about whether or not he's going to do his act, or maybe one of the other group acts, and the rest of us sigh, roll our eyes, and let his two partners deal with him.
But now, the entire situation seems to have come to a head. He came off stage in tears the other day and after yet another round of medical visits and a week of missed performances, he's been told that he can't work on his ankle for at least three weeks. And while I hate to say it, after so much crying wolf, one can't help but wonder if that isn't what he wanted all along...
But this is the circus and the show must go on. An act is missing and that simply will not do. And so, the quest to find a temporary replacement has begun...
* Oh, the venting... the venting I could do! But it seems unfair to devote an entire post to how one person doesn't even come close to pulling his weight. It's still pretty early in the season though...
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Next...
I mentioned how a week into the tour we already had an artist miss a show due to injury. Well, one week later we were another man down. Only this time it was the trumpet player and band leader. He was hospitalized for bleeding in the stomach. The saxophone player stepped in as interim band leader and, I dare say, did a great job. The band very much held it together, adapted the music well, and played a great show.
The only problem now is, as the French say, il n'y a jamais deux sans trois*...
* There's never two without three.
The only problem now is, as the French say, il n'y a jamais deux sans trois*...
* There's never two without three.
Friday, April 12, 2013
That Didn't Take Long...
It should come as no surprise that, in the circus, sometimes people get hurt. Bumps, burns, and bruises happen every day. Usually multiple times. Then, of course, there are the kinds of injuries that result in missing performances.
It only took eight shows for us to reach that point.
In the opening moments of the first act of the second half, our slackline/trickline walker sprained his ankle. He managed to complete his act and, interestingly, thought it was the best one he'd done so far! Unfortunately the high of doing a great number was short lived as he was unable to do his act for the next two shows. An MRI later revealed that he completely broke one of his ligaments. While he can still work, he'll have to wear this crazy brace for the next five weeks.
We've all been working insanely hard. Hopefully this is just an isolated incident and not a preview of things to come as fatigue continues to accumulate.
It only took eight shows for us to reach that point.
In the opening moments of the first act of the second half, our slackline/trickline walker sprained his ankle. He managed to complete his act and, interestingly, thought it was the best one he'd done so far! Unfortunately the high of doing a great number was short lived as he was unable to do his act for the next two shows. An MRI later revealed that he completely broke one of his ligaments. While he can still work, he'll have to wear this crazy brace for the next five weeks.
We've all been working insanely hard. Hopefully this is just an isolated incident and not a preview of things to come as fatigue continues to accumulate.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Frigthening Reminder
My very first circus history class, our teacher asked us what we thought of when we thought of the circus. There was a chorus of "Trapeze!", "Clowns!", and "The chapiteau!". Our teacher looked at us and said one word: death.
I woke up this morning to news that a member of my immediate circus community had an accident on stage. I'm still unclear on the details, but it would seem that the acrobat in question fell on his neck while performing an acrobatic figure of some kind. He's broken some vertebrae in his neck. We're waiting to see what will come next.
A few of my friends have had serious accidents on stage, and this isn't even the first time someone I know has broken their neck. And you would think that having your friend in a coma for months would wake you up to just how dangerous your career choice really is. But the truth is, you quickly fall back into the habit of taking it for granted that you're good at what you do, you're well trained, and that things like that happen to other people, not you.
I suspect a lot of that is a defense mechanism. How could you possibly go on stage night after night if all you could think about is how it could very possibly be the last thing you do? I know there are moments where I see myself falling off the stage, crushing audience members and doing all kinds of damage to myself. But if I didn't push those thoughts aside and focus on what I need to do, it would paralyze me.
But the reality is that this job is dangerous and accidents do happen. Every time we step on stage we take a risk. All it takes is a momentary slip in concentration, a miscalculation, having an "off day", or worst of all, someone else's bad call. Sometimes, you don't even know the why and the how of it.
It's a terrible thing when you have to be reminded of that in such a way as this.
Our thoughts and positive energy are with him, and we wish him a speedy recovery.
For those of us who have to step into the ring, be safe.
I woke up this morning to news that a member of my immediate circus community had an accident on stage. I'm still unclear on the details, but it would seem that the acrobat in question fell on his neck while performing an acrobatic figure of some kind. He's broken some vertebrae in his neck. We're waiting to see what will come next.
A few of my friends have had serious accidents on stage, and this isn't even the first time someone I know has broken their neck. And you would think that having your friend in a coma for months would wake you up to just how dangerous your career choice really is. But the truth is, you quickly fall back into the habit of taking it for granted that you're good at what you do, you're well trained, and that things like that happen to other people, not you.
I suspect a lot of that is a defense mechanism. How could you possibly go on stage night after night if all you could think about is how it could very possibly be the last thing you do? I know there are moments where I see myself falling off the stage, crushing audience members and doing all kinds of damage to myself. But if I didn't push those thoughts aside and focus on what I need to do, it would paralyze me.
But the reality is that this job is dangerous and accidents do happen. Every time we step on stage we take a risk. All it takes is a momentary slip in concentration, a miscalculation, having an "off day", or worst of all, someone else's bad call. Sometimes, you don't even know the why and the how of it.
It's a terrible thing when you have to be reminded of that in such a way as this.
Our thoughts and positive energy are with him, and we wish him a speedy recovery.
For those of us who have to step into the ring, be safe.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
The Curse
So, my circus has a bit of a curse. I’ve thought so for
ages, but never bothered to mention it. Which, in retrospect, is pretty odd.
But with A’s injury fresh on my mind, I can no longer look the other way.
And the curse goes on...
Working for this company is back breaking. Literally.
I know that bad backs are pretty common. And you’d think
that in the circus that’s just something that comes with the territory. And
while I do know people with bad backs in the circus, I feel that things like
bad wrists, knees, or shoulders are far more common.
And you would think that maybe one or two people might have
a bad back. But it seems like here bad backs are just the status quo.
I developed a mysterious back injury just months after I
started working here. And not during shows, but during the summer break.
Despite many tests and doctors, no one could diagnose anything. It’s not as bad
as it was a few years ago, but it hasn't healed.
And now, with just days to go, A is barely able to put on
his own pants his back hurts so much. He was fine when we left in November. How
did this happen?
He and I are just another couple of names on the long list
of those whose backs were broken while passing through this big top.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
The Unravelling
It is finally, really, truly and officially the end of the
shows. There will be no extra dates squeezed in. It’s a run of three weekends,
and then goodnight. I’m not terribly surprised by the tough market for ticket
sales. We were here a couple of years ago plus the just completed run in
November. Now, with Christmas approaching, everyone is in town. Soleil, 7
Fingers, C!RCA, and a slew of others. Not to mention that the big white tent
20m away from us is having shows on the same dates at pretty much the same time
as us... oops.
A is going for an MRI this week as it looks like it
might be something with one of his disks. I just hope that L’s prediction
that everything will “part en couilles” doesn’t go beyond the disaster that was
Sunday’s show.
With this company, it would seem that the traditional way to
end a tour is to have everything go to shit. With the previous show, three acts
were missing in the final performances, and one of the musicians had completely
thrown out his back and had to play while seated in the wings. This show seems
to be following suit.
Upon arrival, A announced that he had hurt his back. We
hemmed and hawed about whether or not he would cut anything, but A has always
been stubborn about these kinds of things. It went from not doing his straps
act, to simply cutting two figures from his acro solo.
The next night, however, I got off stage after my own number
to find A waiting for me.
“I’m not doing my straps act tonight. Or trampo-wall.”
Being the clever folks that we are, we didn’t bother to come
up with a plan should A decide mid-way through a show that he was too injured
to continue. This led to much running around backstage trying to figure out to
do technical cues without and transitions with bits of the show missing, as
well as the horrible task of completely restructuring the trampo-wall act. It’s
bad enough figuring all that stuff out during a meeting. It’s way harder when
people are running on an off stage, and back and forth trying to execute their
backstage cues.
Meanwhile, on stage, A, D, and myself performed a
spectacular three body pile up that would have made the Stooges proud. I’m
still not entirely sure what happened, but D fell over me, and then rammed into
A, at which point he landed in my line of fire, and I hit him. Flailing and
laughing, we finally managed to get into position. I’m sure the sound and
lighting guys enjoyed the scene from the booth.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Getting Some Sense Knocked Into Me
I've been training pretty hard this summer. I did receive a grant to do just that, after all. The goal was two fold: solidify my technique (and maybe learn some new skills along the way) and finish my act.
In a way, I've achieved both my goals (more on that in another post) but at the same time, I know my act can be better. So the past couple of weeks have been dedicated to, well, getting my act together.
My coach and I have been going over and over all the transitions that weren't up to par, cleaning them up, making them more interesting, clarifying the intention. It's been a great process but it hasn't been going as quickly as I would have hoped. And while I don't think I'm overdoing it, the Universe seems to disagree with me.
Two days ago, during what was shaping up to be a pretty awesome improv, I thought I broke my rib. I was in this weird position and I heard this horrible cracking sound and had sharp pain shoot through my ribs and upper abdomen. More than anything, I was super scared. In the end, I think I just pulled something. And for the most part, I can still train. Every so often I'll do a move that results in sharp stabbing pain, in case I forgot that I am, in fact, a wee bit injured.
And then there was yesterday. Things were going great. I proposed some new parameters for the improvs and they were getting results. That's when I knocked the protection of the weight off my trapeze and then immediately got hit full in the mouth.
I split my lip open, but not so badly that I needed stitches. While everyone assured me that my teeth looked fine, I could tell something was up. They felt like they had shifted in my mouth. Fortunately, my dentist is awesome and agreed to squeeze me in that afternoon.
I know my teeth were out of place because en route to the dentist they kind of shifted back into place. In case you're wondering, that doesn't feel good. Apparently, things are pretty much under control. There's a slight fissure in one tooth, and a chip, but both are in back of the tooth and apparently nothing I need to worry about right now. There is a chance that the trauma will cause the nerve in my tooth to die, in which case I would need a root canal. Let's all hope that doesn't happen. Apparently my dentist's sister-in-law got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and it took two years before her tooth died. Yippee...
The good news is I have big nerves and that means lots of blood can keep getting where it needs to go. Let's just hope it goes there. Also, my dentist didn't charge me! Did I mention he's awesome?
My tooth is a bit loose, but that should sort itself out too. In the meantime, I just have really sore teeth and a bit pressure in my sinuses. I'm also on a soft food diet for the next two weeks. And here I am almost out of oatmeal.
The points I have to train on are super shitty. There's no other way to say it. They bounce, refuse to stay even, and swing like a crazed person trying to hit a pinata. Less than a month ago another girl split her lip open and needed stitches, plus she chipped one tooth and cracked another. And the day before I got hit in the face, a guy split the back of his head open on one of his weights and needed stitches.
That point is thirsty for blood.
All that to say that after two injury filled training days in a row, I am going to listen to the Universe and take today off lest it sends me a more obvious message that I need a break.
In a way, I've achieved both my goals (more on that in another post) but at the same time, I know my act can be better. So the past couple of weeks have been dedicated to, well, getting my act together.
My coach and I have been going over and over all the transitions that weren't up to par, cleaning them up, making them more interesting, clarifying the intention. It's been a great process but it hasn't been going as quickly as I would have hoped. And while I don't think I'm overdoing it, the Universe seems to disagree with me.
Two days ago, during what was shaping up to be a pretty awesome improv, I thought I broke my rib. I was in this weird position and I heard this horrible cracking sound and had sharp pain shoot through my ribs and upper abdomen. More than anything, I was super scared. In the end, I think I just pulled something. And for the most part, I can still train. Every so often I'll do a move that results in sharp stabbing pain, in case I forgot that I am, in fact, a wee bit injured.
And then there was yesterday. Things were going great. I proposed some new parameters for the improvs and they were getting results. That's when I knocked the protection of the weight off my trapeze and then immediately got hit full in the mouth.
I split my lip open, but not so badly that I needed stitches. While everyone assured me that my teeth looked fine, I could tell something was up. They felt like they had shifted in my mouth. Fortunately, my dentist is awesome and agreed to squeeze me in that afternoon.
I know my teeth were out of place because en route to the dentist they kind of shifted back into place. In case you're wondering, that doesn't feel good. Apparently, things are pretty much under control. There's a slight fissure in one tooth, and a chip, but both are in back of the tooth and apparently nothing I need to worry about right now. There is a chance that the trauma will cause the nerve in my tooth to die, in which case I would need a root canal. Let's all hope that doesn't happen. Apparently my dentist's sister-in-law got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and it took two years before her tooth died. Yippee...
The good news is I have big nerves and that means lots of blood can keep getting where it needs to go. Let's just hope it goes there. Also, my dentist didn't charge me! Did I mention he's awesome?
My tooth is a bit loose, but that should sort itself out too. In the meantime, I just have really sore teeth and a bit pressure in my sinuses. I'm also on a soft food diet for the next two weeks. And here I am almost out of oatmeal.
The points I have to train on are super shitty. There's no other way to say it. They bounce, refuse to stay even, and swing like a crazed person trying to hit a pinata. Less than a month ago another girl split her lip open and needed stitches, plus she chipped one tooth and cracked another. And the day before I got hit in the face, a guy split the back of his head open on one of his weights and needed stitches.
That point is thirsty for blood.
All that to say that after two injury filled training days in a row, I am going to listen to the Universe and take today off lest it sends me a more obvious message that I need a break.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
So It Is
Waiting in the pitch black for B to pass by so I could make my way into the wings, I turned to the bass player and asked him if he needed a Kleenex (the poor guy was sniffling up a storm). Suddenly I’m on my knees in immense pain, little green lights popping in and out of focus in front of me.
When I turned to the bass player he turned toward me too and damn near gouged my eye out. He later said it was just his pinkie finger, but his pinkie finger is as big as my index finger. I finished the rest of the show with one squinty, watery eye and, nearly 24 hours later, my eye still aches.
I guess mom was right. It really is all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.
When I turned to the bass player he turned toward me too and damn near gouged my eye out. He later said it was just his pinkie finger, but his pinkie finger is as big as my index finger. I finished the rest of the show with one squinty, watery eye and, nearly 24 hours later, my eye still aches.
I guess mom was right. It really is all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Buuuuuuuuuuurn!
You’ve undoubtedly heard of rope burn and carpet burn. And then of course there’s mat burn and razor burn. But did you know there’s such a thing as couscous burn?
I certainly didn’t, but I do now. There’s nothing like the perils of circus to open your eyes to the many ways you can hurt yourself.
Ew.
That being said...
Seriously?
Couscous?
Seriously?
Quel vie de cirque...
* Don't ask. It's artistic.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Leg for Hire
Currently seeking replacement to fill in for my left leg.
Potential appendages should be short, extremely pale, and the dominant or 'good' leg.
Minimal flexibility required, strength a must.
Legs with weak ankles or bum knees need not apply.
Potential appendages should be short, extremely pale, and the dominant or 'good' leg.
Minimal flexibility required, strength a must.
Legs with weak ankles or bum knees need not apply.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The Haunting
This is me.
My insides, anyway.
This is one of the many x-rays I had taken of my neck today. And while all the others (even the weird one where I had to lie down and open my mouth really wide) just look like regular x-rays to me, this one scares me.
Something about this image is unbearably sad to me.
I'm not a doctor, and it's probably just my fear talking, but it seems to me like my neck is damaged. And, again, perhaps it's just my fear talking, but my body language seems to suggest that I know this. Worse than that; that I know that some kind of end is near...
I've always found sadness has its own compelling beauty. Even though this is me, my career, and my life, I still feel that way. And I think that scares me too.
My insides, anyway.
This is one of the many x-rays I had taken of my neck today. And while all the others (even the weird one where I had to lie down and open my mouth really wide) just look like regular x-rays to me, this one scares me.
Something about this image is unbearably sad to me.
I'm not a doctor, and it's probably just my fear talking, but it seems to me like my neck is damaged. And, again, perhaps it's just my fear talking, but my body language seems to suggest that I know this. Worse than that; that I know that some kind of end is near...
I've always found sadness has its own compelling beauty. Even though this is me, my career, and my life, I still feel that way. And I think that scares me too.
Monday, November 29, 2010
The Jinx
When I was a kid, there was this rather terrible educational program that I really enjoyed called Adventures in Wonderland. You know, adolescent main character has a problem, has an adventure with a gaggle of zany friends, learns a lesson, roll credits.
The reason I mention this program is because almost 20 years later there is one piece of dialogue that has remained lodged in my brain and it just so happens to be the perfect segue into the actual topic of this post.
"Once is a coincidence. Twice is a coincidence. Ten times is a coincidence! But three times? Definitely not a coincidence."
Every time I have come home during a break from my circus I have developed some mysterious injury. I say 'mysterious injury' because these injuries always seem to manifest themselves when I stop training and stop performing. This is incredibly frustrating because at least if I was training and, say, fell on my head, I could easily explain the cause of my injury.
But the mysterious back problem? That started while I was sitting in a car.
My neck injury? Well, okay, I'm pretty sure I know what caused that (hey there, trampo-wall), but the pain waited until I was on vacation before it really settled in.
Now that I'm back in Montreal, and only for three weeks I might add, a brand new development has decided to make my life unpleasant and fill me with fear: numbness.
Yes, I know, it sounds harmless. But when it starts in one arm, then spreads to the other, then a few days later a leg, and then (wait for it) the other leg, well... to say that I am concerned is an understatement. Especially since neck and back pain have joined the party. And it's a swinging party. It wakes me up at night so that I don't miss out.
Third stint home, third type of injury, third time's a charm...
Personally, I think its a jinx.
I come home, I hurt. It's not like I don't have time off from the show while I'm in France. Because I do, and generally speaking, it doesn't leave me whimpering in pain in the corner. I get to Montreal and BAM! Tears and emergency visits to the doctor.
The good news is that I somehow managed to get an MRI appointment before I head back to France. Anyone familiar with the health care system in Quebec will know that this is a bloody miracle. Also, when I went to the hospital, they gave me drugs. And those drugs are making me feel better.
Now let's hope I can also get some answers followed by some good news...
* I can't mention an embarrassing television program and not link to it, can I? Have fun...
The reason I mention this program is because almost 20 years later there is one piece of dialogue that has remained lodged in my brain and it just so happens to be the perfect segue into the actual topic of this post.
"Once is a coincidence. Twice is a coincidence. Ten times is a coincidence! But three times? Definitely not a coincidence."
Every time I have come home during a break from my circus I have developed some mysterious injury. I say 'mysterious injury' because these injuries always seem to manifest themselves when I stop training and stop performing. This is incredibly frustrating because at least if I was training and, say, fell on my head, I could easily explain the cause of my injury.
But the mysterious back problem? That started while I was sitting in a car.
My neck injury? Well, okay, I'm pretty sure I know what caused that (hey there, trampo-wall), but the pain waited until I was on vacation before it really settled in.
Now that I'm back in Montreal, and only for three weeks I might add, a brand new development has decided to make my life unpleasant and fill me with fear: numbness.
Yes, I know, it sounds harmless. But when it starts in one arm, then spreads to the other, then a few days later a leg, and then (wait for it) the other leg, well... to say that I am concerned is an understatement. Especially since neck and back pain have joined the party. And it's a swinging party. It wakes me up at night so that I don't miss out.
Third stint home, third type of injury, third time's a charm...
Personally, I think its a jinx.
I come home, I hurt. It's not like I don't have time off from the show while I'm in France. Because I do, and generally speaking, it doesn't leave me whimpering in pain in the corner. I get to Montreal and BAM! Tears and emergency visits to the doctor.
The good news is that I somehow managed to get an MRI appointment before I head back to France. Anyone familiar with the health care system in Quebec will know that this is a bloody miracle. Also, when I went to the hospital, they gave me drugs. And those drugs are making me feel better.
Now let's hope I can also get some answers followed by some good news...
* I can't mention an embarrassing television program and not link to it, can I? Have fun...
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