The Quest Begins

It would appear that the date has been set. After three years with my company, the end of the tour has been announced. It looks like that the end of the line is a year and a half away.

That may seem like a really long time to you. But to me, it feels like tomorrow. And I am scared. In fact, I am freaking out. We're talking full out panic mode. That may seem unreasonable, but if you were to look at the upcoming tour, you'd likely be feeling the same way.

Yes, the show will continue to tour for a year and a half, but that doesn't mean we'll be working all that time. At the moment, the summer break is three months long. There's only one stop set for the 2011-2012 season so far, and perhaps four other potential dates.

That's it.

We may do as little as 80 shows next year. That's really not much to live on.

So I've started looking for work. Which has only added to the panic, really. Basically, if I don't get a reply by the next day (and of course I never do) I feel like that contact is a bust. I've contacted big companies, agencies on both sides of the pond, friends, acquaintances, the whole gamut. And while there are a couple of promising leads and even an audition, I must admit my hopes aren't all that high. I've been let down too many times before.

It took two years with virtually no circus work before I was hired by my company. I had to work in an abusive Polish bakery to make ends meet. And I'm finding that in the years since I've started doing circus (it's been almost 10 years!), I've lost a lot of my "follow your heart" attitude. I've considered changing careers, to something that is more of an actual career I might add, and find myself afraid that I won't be able to earn a living! I can tell you, 19 year old me that ran off with the circus didn't give that a second thought. Circus called, I answered, and my heart led the way.

True, I have more experience now. I also have a tour with a big name company under my belt. With glowing reviews of my act to boot. That's got to count for something. So if you or someone you know is looking for a wheel act, do give me a shout. Okay?

Thanks.