Nothing to See Here….

You know that dream that fictional characters always seem to have where they end up either naked or in their skivvies in front of the entire school/workplace? Well ladies and gentlemen, the other night, I came very close to achieving a dream…

It was the scene before the bazooka, in other words, my shining moment as a clown. Aside from the two boys setting up for the bazooka number, there’s no one else on stage and really, I’m there to take the focus so that the set up can occur in a way that is seamless and entertaining. In other words, all eyes are on me.

But right from the get go, I could tell something was off. While trapped beneath the tarp, I could feel that something wasn’t quite right with my pants. Not really having time to investigate further, I started the sketch. That’s when I figured out what was up with my pants. By this time, I’m sure that you’ve figured it out, too.

Now these pants tend to come a bit unzipped, but we added a snap and that tends to take care of that. But tonight, the snap came undone too, and that zipper kept falling. It should be noted that the zipper is, thank goodness, on the side of my leg, not front and centre. It is, however, really long and unzips to mid-way down my thigh.

So I’m rolling around all over the place (as I tend to do in this moment), the whole time hoping that my very voluminous top doesn’t flip up as I’m flipping over. But as you surely know, the rules of the Universe dictate that in such moments, the side of my body that the zipper is on is the side that will most often be facing the public.

And so, after a few minutes of uncharacteristically reserved flailing, the sketch is just about done! Nothing left to do but look at the audience, look at the guys and retreat. Yes! And it’s as I make my exit that I realize that while I was trying to shield the audience from my hindquarters, my top had also come undone and the ladies were getting a little stage time of their own.

Oops.