Take Two

As it turns out, the Great Bass Disaster wasn’t even the result of a faulty bass. The bassist thought there was a problem with his instrument (he’s been having trouble with one of the chords coming unsoldered) but when he grabbed his other bass and it didn’t work either, he realized the problem originated in the sound booth. While very frustrating for him, we managed to have a good laugh about it after the show.

The following night, I told him that should it ever happen again, he’s to come on stage with the double bass instead of the electric bass and just play the bass line on that. It may not be as loud, but at least the instrument is so damn big that maybe the other musicians will see him and not get so lost. Before the show he gave it a try. It was the stupidest sounding thing you’ve ever heard.

Right before I went onstage, he came up to me and said he decided that, when it was time for my act, he was going to skip the electric bass altogether and just come out directly with the double bass.

Ha ha! That’s a good one!

The number starts, I’m doing my thing, and then I hear it. And of course, by hear it, I mean don’t hear it. Once again, there is no bass.

The good news is the other musicians are now veterans when it comes to suddenly missing bass players and actually manage to keep it together. Even better, the bassist manages to make it back in time for our big dramatic moment. We say more with one look than most people ever manage and, laughing, I carry on with my act.

But I must admit, when I have a moment later on during the show to pull him aside, my tone is stern.

Where the hell was the double bass? That was a golden opportunity! True, it probably would have ‘ruined the show’, but there are some things that are bigger than the show! And a gag that is hilarious both visually and aurally, though admittedly and inside joke between only two people on stage, but coincides with an event whose timing makes the joke even funnier, again, to only two of the people present… I mean… come on! What are the odds?

I tell ya, if there’s a screw up with the bass for a third night running and I don’t see a big ass double bass come to the rescue, I will be most put out.