Monday, February 28, 2011

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Where My Girls At?

Times are tough at the circus these days. There are many layers of drama and many layers of hurt, and they seem to be be cropping up all over the place. We've been working almost non-stop the past two months and I think it's fair to say we need a break. Nerves are frayed, people are tired, and a little space is most definitely in order.

On top of that, there's been quite a lot of change. It's been four months since C left the show and in the last city, L performed for the last time. Of the four women* on stage, I'm now the only one to have performed in every show.

I suddenly feel quite lonely on stage. It's not that I don't like the new ladies by my side, but it's not the same as having the people who were with you from the beginning. The people who shared the same experiences and lived through the same hardship, the ones comforted you when you broke down, and the ones you held up when they needed support in turn. There's something to be said for shared battle scars. And while I still have all the boys, of course, it's not the same as Team Canada.

Did I not mention that C, L and myself were the three Canadians in the troupe?

There is one moment in the show in particular where we're all seated next to each other. For the first time I had 'strangers' on either side of me. Maybe I'm just too sensitive, but it really hit me hard.

C's replacement isn't C. That's not to say that one person is better than the other, but D isn't C and I feel that every show and I miss C every day. And L, well... she needed two people to replace her. Two! And one of them in a Brazilian man! Needless to say, it's far from the same...

I admit it, I have a hard time with change and I miss my girls. And the worst part is, I'm pretty sure the change and the loss isn't over yet.

Sigh...



* B, like the two other founding members of the company who still perform, has a replacement and doesn't play all the dates. She is sometimes replaced by M.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Photoshoot!

I had the very good fortune of spending the past weekend in Nantes collaborating with a local photographer. We first met (though barely) when my circus performed there in the fall. After a potentially awkward situation ("So I see you've used my photos on your web page...) we kept in touch and decided to see what we could do in a less traditional setting. And so, fingers crossed, I packed my bags and headed to Nantes.

While I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, I had good reason to hope for the best. The photographer sent a wonderful outline of the project with pictures of potential locations. Many of them were pretty gritty and industrial.

In other words, right up my alley.

The photographer even found a stylist! She made me a little tulle bustle thing, which was actually quite a fun accessory. She even let me keep it!

So off we went... we had scouted some locations the evening before and found some fun improvised locations along the way. Without really trying, various colour themes seemed to reoccur, and colour ended up playing a key role. From what I've seen of the photographer's work, he does a lot of black and white. We looked at a couple of the shots we took in black and white and the aesthetic value of the photo decreased dramatically.

What can I say? I'm a colourful gal.

Except for the part where I'm two shades darker than chalk...

Anyhoo!

We took about 450 photos and together chose 144 that were worth touching up. Of those, I've made an even smaller selection that will later be used for promotional purposes.

Aside from the wonderful photos, I have many (many) souvenir scrapes and bruises! There were a few sketchy moments (so much pigeon poop...), as well as the one or two times where I probably could have seriously hurt myself. But in the end, I didn't get hurt, so I guess the moments can be considered as inspired in lieu of stupid!

I have also discovered that putting a camera in front of me suddenly makes me believe I'm flexible. All this does is provide photographic proof that I'm not, as well as giving me a sore back.

With 144 photos to choose from, it's hard to pick just one to highlight the adventure. As such, here's a small taste of the (untouched) photos!





The Plot Thickens...

As I've mentioned, I'm on the job hunt. So it may surprise you to learn that I've ignored a couple of e-mails from a French television program. It's one of those talent shows and they wanted me to apply. I suspect they just contacted a bunch of circus artists, but still, I made it onto the list.

Then yesterday I received a bait lined e-mail via Facebook.

"Hello, my name is So-and-so and I'm a journalist for Such-and-such media and would like to get in contact with you. If you have a moment, please call."


A quick Google search proved the media company was legit, and surprise surprise, there was some footage from that very same talent show.

At this point it would have been foolish not to follow-up. The Universe only throws you so many bones before it shrugs its shoulders and moves on.

Long story short, the production team has viewed my material and would like to meet with me in April. Only there's one catch: filming is in June and we have dates booked on the tour.

At this point, I thought all hope was lost. But after a wake-up phone call this morning (far earlier than I would have liked, I might add) I think I may have a way to make it all work out.

The hard part will be to convince my company to play along...

Stay tuned as our story unravels!

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Go On Stage...

You know those movies where the nice young family moves into a beautiful dream home only to find out that it was built on the site of some horrific massacre that forever cursed the land and anyone who dared come near it?

That's kind of what this stage is like.

As usual, one of the first things I checked out upon arriving at the theatre was the state of the floor. While it's most important to do this with the wheel, a quick walk around will give me a pretty good idea of what I'm going to be dealing with. As of late, there hasn't been too much to smile about.

But this floor... this floor was magic. Perfectly level, not a single discernible seam or bump, very solid, very hard. Plus it has a marley covering so a nice grip on the floor seemed a sure bet.

Whenever we arrive in a new city, we have a meeting to discuss any news as well as the schedule leading up to the dress rehearsal. There are a few things that need to be done in every city and wheel is usually one of them. Testing the floor is standard procedure. However, we're pretty swamped with other rehearsals at the moment as L has just been replaced in the show and her replacements (she's so awesome she needed two people to replace her!) need the stage time. Seeing as the stage seemed so incredibly glorious, I opted to give up my training time to more pressing matters.

Cue the ominous music...

Oh floor... how could you have mislead me so? Haven't I dealt with enough shitty stages lately? Couldn't you have just been as awesome as you seemed?

This floor is a monster. A monster that lives on momentum, energy and speed. It sucks the life out of all things that roll. Which is, as you can imagine, pretty disastrous when your apparatus is a giant wheel...

I first noticed something was off when I made my entrance. I do a couple of freehand rotations, nothing terribly challenging for me. Normally I don't even feel like I'm trying and the wheel just goes. This time, the wheel wasn't going quite as fast and a movement that for me is like walking suddenly felt a little like work.

Hm...

Then, move by move, line by line, the reality of my situation hit home. It didn't matter how hard I pushed or how much speed I gave, it wouldn't be enough. On some moves, I fell. Others, I barely made. The rest, I didn't even bother. Looks like I needed a little stage time after all...

So the next morning, I trained. And I soon realized the situation was worse than I thought. Not only did the floor devour whatever energy you put into it, it was inconsistent. One move might prove near impossible, another would be unbelievably easy. And there's no logic in which is which.

During the show, I would push 15 times harder on one move and barely make it. I would give everything to another one and almost go over. My instincts and knowledge of my discipline are suddenly worthless to me. I'm convinced I'm too fast (and under normal circumstances I'm sure I would be) and adjust accordingly only to come a hair's width from bashing my head on the plates. Nothing like a good fall to set to the tone of an act. I do the move again, giving even more speed. I'm sure that this time I'm going to go over, but no, I only just make it. At least I've learned to work a crowd and gloss over those kinds of moments, but still...

It makes no sense. Not only do I feel lost on stage, but my mind is working overtime trying to calculate what needs to be done, and my body becomes increasingly more exhausted and at an incredibly alarming rate.

I'm sure I'll get used to it in time, but we only have three more shows here. Either it won't be enough, or it will be just enough to screw me up completely the minute I get on a different surface. I'm guessing the latter.

I know it's silly, but part of me wishes I could explain the problem to the audience. I wish I could tell them that I'm normally much better but this floor is sucking the life out of me. I wish I could tell them that the fact that I can even do an entire German wheel act on this floor proves how good I am. I wish I could do things because nothing is worse than feeling embarrassed by your work.

But I can't do any of these things. So tomorrow, I will train again. And come tomorrow night, we'll see if I have tamed the beast.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Flood in the Theatre!

Okay, not the entire theatre. Just one floor.

Though that did create a kind of waterfall in the stairwell... and also the elevator shaft...

So yeah, I meant what I said.

Flood in the theatre!

 At this point, clean up was already well underway.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Best. Policy. Ever.

It is my great hope that one day, I will be in a company that enforces this policy.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

That's Not It

Whenever I'm backstage and suddenly find myself drawing a blank as to what it is I'm supposed to do next, my first instinct is to take off my costume...

Somehow, that never seems to be the right response...

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Tension of Opposites

As you already know, the job hunt has started anew. I've been in contact with over a dozen promoters, companies, and agencies and very slowly, the odd response is starting to trickle in. Nothing terribly promising or exciting, but at least an interest seems to be there.

The funny thing is though, I find it terrifying. Don't get me wrong. I want to work. That goes without saying. I want to keep traveling, I want to learn new skills, I want to keep growing as an artist. And yet when I find a reply waiting for me in my inbox, I'm scared to open it.

Even crazier, I had one agency reply with a lovely e-mail saying how they were very impressed with me and that they've already added my details to their database. They asked many questions and want more photos and videos. They seem genuinely interested.

I still haven't replied.*

This morning another agency contacted me saying that if they have any interesting offers, they will get in touch.

That was the entire e-mail.

I answered them immediately.

What the hell is wrong with me?

The non-committal reply gets immediate attention and the agency that seems like they really want to work with me is still waiting? Am I nuts?

No, I'm scared.

Non-committal feels like I've made some headway, but I don't actual believe anything will come of it so I feel safe. Bear in mind, I've been with the same company for three years. New is scary. Real possibilities reinforce the truth that my contract is coming to an end. Ends are also scary.

I want to continue working as a circus artist and I simultaneously want to settle somewhere and build a life. Which, I suppose, living out of a suitcase for three years will do to a person.

I suppose in the end, the real problem is the uncertainty. Right now, the only thing I see before me is a great black void. I don't think I'll be able to breathe easily again until I have a new contract and am physically there (wherever there happens to be) fulfilling it.

And even then, I'm sure I'll need a couple of days.



* Writing this post lit a fire under my butt. I have since written back.

Hey Kid...

Shining a laser pointer on stage during our performance?

Seriously?

What is it, 1998?

Douche-tard...

Sunday, February 6, 2011

My Favourite Theatre

Over the duration of the tour, we've played in a wide variety of theatres. Some were wonderful. Some made you want to cry. But I think the last theatre we performed at will likely be the best theatre of the entire tour. I kind of miss it already...

Firstly, the hotel was probably only 200m away. I know that doesn't have anything to do with the theatre itself, but the theatre we played at before this one was 6km away from the hotel. The bus stop for the theatre was perhaps 15 minutes away on foot. That mostly meant spending the entire day at the theatre and being completely dependent on others to get home at night. Not so great.

I could actually see the theatre from my hotel room window! Plus the rooms were huge, kettle equipped, and came with a bathtub. Nice!

Nice view, eh? The theatre is just down the street to the left.

But back to the theatre...

The inside of the theatre was beautiful. The colours, the construction, and especially the starry ceiling.



But true mark of greatness was the hospitality. You'd have thought we were famous! For the first time ever, I had my very own dressing room. We were each given a little rose bush and chocolates the night of the premiere.

 

In the artist lounge, there was a tea and coffee station, a selection of cold drinks (ce tea, coke, perrier, juice...), yoghurts, cheeses, a basket of mini chocolate bars, a selection of better quality chocolate, cake, dried fruit, fresh fruit, rice cakes, nuts, choquettes, and probably some other goodies that I'm forgetting.

We had two cocktails while we where there. Each time there was so much food! In Nevers, the cocktail was made up, I kid you not, of chips and candy. Here we had samosas, soup, cheese, bread, quiches served on trays by the staff, cured meats and an array of desserts. Plus, unlimited beverages!  Let me tell you, they knew how to throw a party...

Then there was the laundry... Unlike any other theatre we've ever been to, this theatre had a full time costume woman working there. And if you wanted to do any laundry, she wouldn't let you. This may seem bad at first, but when I say 'she wouldn't let you', what I mean is, she insisted on doing it herself. I only had my laundry done once because I felt like I was abusing something, but I can assure you that my cast mates were hardly as timid.

On top of all that, the city was really nice. Not too big, lots of pedestrian areas, and quite a lot to see. True, the public was a bit odd... they weren't terribly responsive during the show, but they were always pretty loud at the end. So it all worked out.

The next stop on tour brings us back to the North of France. Which reminds me... I have no idea how to get there. I might want to get on that seeing as I leave tomorrow.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

The Quest Begins

It would appear that the date has been set. After three years with my company, the end of the tour has been announced. It looks like that the end of the line is a year and a half away.

That may seem like a really long time to you. But to me, it feels like tomorrow. And I am scared. In fact, I am freaking out. We're talking full out panic mode. That may seem unreasonable, but if you were to look at the upcoming tour, you'd likely be feeling the same way.

Yes, the show will continue to tour for a year and a half, but that doesn't mean we'll be working all that time. At the moment, the summer break is three months long. There's only one stop set for the 2011-2012 season so far, and perhaps four other potential dates.

That's it.

We may do as little as 80 shows next year. That's really not much to live on.

So I've started looking for work. Which has only added to the panic, really. Basically, if I don't get a reply by the next day (and of course I never do) I feel like that contact is a bust. I've contacted big companies, agencies on both sides of the pond, friends, acquaintances, the whole gamut. And while there are a couple of promising leads and even an audition, I must admit my hopes aren't all that high. I've been let down too many times before.

It took two years with virtually no circus work before I was hired by my company. I had to work in an abusive Polish bakery to make ends meet. And I'm finding that in the years since I've started doing circus (it's been almost 10 years!), I've lost a lot of my "follow your heart" attitude. I've considered changing careers, to something that is more of an actual career I might add, and find myself afraid that I won't be able to earn a living! I can tell you, 19 year old me that ran off with the circus didn't give that a second thought. Circus called, I answered, and my heart led the way.

True, I have more experience now. I also have a tour with a big name company under my belt. With glowing reviews of my act to boot. That's got to count for something. So if you or someone you know is looking for a wheel act, do give me a shout. Okay?

Thanks.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Raw Art

At the moment, one of the things making the rounds among my circle of circus folk is the work of the Raw Art alternative circus project. Aside from them being awesome and from Ukraine, as well as their repeated claim that circus can be alternative, I haven't been able to find out all that much about them. Their site is currently under construction and only offers links to videos.

From what I've seen, they represent the contemporary circus movement of Eastern European circus. In the world of circus that I inhabit, the idea of acrobats from countries like Ukraine and Russia is basically synonymous with being outstanding. And I assure you, it's a claim to fame that is justly deserved. Unfortunately, there is also a belief that circus from that part of the world is old school traditional, cheesy, and riddled with sequins.

Well, the artists at Raw Art take the skills and high level of technique that their culture's rich circus heritage has to offer, and aptly combine it with the edgy alternative style that is becoming more and more common in the West. Moreover, the acts they present range from classic disciplines like hand-balancing, contortion, and hand-to-hand, to unique and well-researched acts performed with apparatus of their own design. Not to mention the use of objects you wouldn't necessarily nod your circus cap to.

Like anything, some acts are more interesting than others. There are some that start off with great promise, but probably could have been a minute or two shorter. But that tends to be the case with any collected work.

From what I understand, Taras Pozdnyakov appears to be the artistic director as well as the person in charge of com. You can find links to all the Raw Art videos available online on his Youtube channel. This is definitely a collective worth checking out. Artistically, it may not be for everyone, but you can't argue with the technique and innovation.

To start you on your merry journey of discovery, I'd like to share J-Ropes!

Enjoy!