Thursday, May 19, 2011

Little Chap of Horrors: Revenge of the Show

When it was over, A turned to me and said "I think that's the worst show we've ever done." I paused, remembering this gem of a show, and said "Yes. Yes it was."

It was a close call. The show in Voiron had an impressive and seemingly unending number of technical and performance related snafus. Last night's show had its share of mishaps as well, but not at nearly as bad as Voiron. No, what made the difference and really cinched it for last night's show is that it was trying to kill us.

Things started off innocently enough, as they often do. But something wasn't right. Already, I felt ill and had to step aside on several occasions in order to settle my stomach. When the time came for the solo trampoline act, it was clear that this was not a show to be trifled with.

During this act, there are four of us beneath the trampoline in order to execute certain artistic cues, so we have a pretty sweet view of what's going on. As such, we had front row seats to the ensuing horror. O over did a move, landed near the edge of the trampoline, got tangled in the pads that cover the springs and fell onto the drums, taking the high hat with him.

The sound of the crash was bad enough. The singer bravely going on with her song while the music faded away was painful. The sudden silence from the audience was frightening.

To my left, I could see O in a crumpled heap on the floor. P went to see if he was okay, and O got up to finish his act. He picked up where he left off, but the musicians were slow on the uptake because, well, holy crap, man! You just fell off the trampoline and took out a drum set! Are you sure you're okay? Because I think everyone here would understand if you wanted to cut the act short!

And so on.

So while he admirably finished the act, the degree of malaise was tangible. Afterward, while we were backstage preparing for the next part of the show, I asked O if he was alright. His answer?

"Oh, I'm fine. I just dislocated my shoulder." *

A dislocated shoulder is, of course, the definition of 'fine'.

The next attempt on one of the artist's lives was right before the trapeze act. D got off easy though. She noticed the giant knot in her cords as the trapeze was being pulled up and was able to take it down, undo the knot and start over.

Unwilling to accept being foiled so easily, the show would exact its revenge. And of course, there would be just the opportunity to do so, for there is not one trampoline act in the show, but two!

Once again, things began innocently enough. I had just finished my first sequence and jumped off the trampoline to join A in front. He turns to me and starts going on about something being weird. I though he was referring to my arm-hook with O (recently dislocated shoulders will make that move tricky) but then he said something about the trampoline being off. I thought he meant we needed to push it closer to the wall. But then he crawls over me to look at the foot of the frame. The foot was in, and everything was fine. At least I thought it was until A picked up a piece of the frame that had some how come loose and fallen off.

Now, it doesn't matter how unimportant an element of your equipment may be. If you see a part of it laying on the floor instead of doing whatever the hell it's supposed to be doing, especially while you're performing on it, you freak the funk out.

For the remainder of the act, all I could do is look on in horror as the trampoline made a terrible clunking sound every time someone did anything on the left side of the trampoline. And of course, at this point, it was mainly the big bulking guys who were executing the tricks, so the clunking was that much more terrible. By the end of the act, I was performing by rote. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the bed. I held my breath as I did my last trick (conveniently executed right where the bit of the frame broke off) and hoped. Somehow, we made it through.

Normally, for the curtain call, the acrobats all stand on the frame of the trampoline and the musicians stand in front of the trampoline. Then the acrobats jump down and we all stand together. I can tell you that the musicians were mighty confused when suddenly they found themselves flanked by six extra people. They, of course, were oblivious to the trampoline's predicament. We had no desire to stand on the edge of a broken frame.

And then it was over. We made it out alive... this time. It was only the first show of the week...

Bwahahahahaha....




* This is something that happens to him with startling regularity. His shoulder once dislocated mid-act (mid-twist, actually) and all he did was stop jumping, pop it back in** and keep going.

** If ever you dislocate your shoulder, do not attempt to put it back yourself. First time dislocations can be very dangerous as there may be complications such as breaks, torn soft tissue, or other internal damage (there are lots of nerves and things in there). You can permanently damage your shoulder or arm. Get to a hospital ASAP. The difference with O is that it's happened so often that the path is made. Which is why it pops out as easily as it pops back in.

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