After 18 hours door to door, I arrived back at the circus. I fully expected the worst. When I got to the tent everything was... fine. People were mostly smiling. There was very little mention of the recent death in the troupe, and if so, only in private. There have been very few tears.
But I can't help but think it's the calm before the storm. The past two days, everyone has stayed together. I don't think I've ever seen the kitchen so packed, and certainly not for such a long time. It's like nobody wants to be alone. It feels like by sticking together and talking about other things, we can put off the moment when reality hits. The amount of booze on site supports that hypothesis.
Tomorrow we have a meeting and will begin rehearsing in earnest. Clearly, I have no idea what's going on. But I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
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