Circus, Women, and Family

This is a very challenging post for me to write. I am at an age where I'm expected to start thinking of settling down and having kids. While establishing a home base that isn't a suitcase is definitely a thought that flits through my head often enough, having children is not.

So why do I feel so compelled to write about this? Because of a certain act of injustice that has left me extremely angry. I mentioned in an earlier post that there were quite a few babies born in the troupe over the last 12 months. While six babies were born, only one of the mothers happens to be an acrobat. Otherwise, the new moms are all the wives of people in the show, but not in the show themselves.

When L got pregnant, they needed to hire two people to replace her. When she went on maternity leave, she made it very clear that she would be coming back, and that the trampoline act she created was hers and that she was letting them keep it in the show for the sake of the story.

When L started discussing coming back on tour, the director seemed lukewarm to the idea at best.

"Oh... but I really like that bit we added with O..."

Yeah, as awesome as those 30 seconds are, we are talking about a person's job and livelihood.

She continued pushing the point, trying to get an idea of when she could come back. First there was the story of that 30 second moment. Then how her coming back would somehow complicate things at the office. Finally, the director sent her an e-mail saying that the person replacing her on trampoline had a better energy than she did, brought more to the show, and that they would be keeping him. If she wanted, she could come back for hand to hand and that's it.

She has been with the company for eight years and has done six different acts in five disciplines. In this show, she does three acts and just had two taken away from her. What would have happened if they had managed to replace her with only one person? Would she be allowed back at all?

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that when you go on maternity leave, you're not only entitled to getting your job back, but to getting the same job back. Not just a third of it.

Worth mentioning: When L was trying to get pregnant and they were looking for replacements for her, the director had a conversation with the costume woman about B, a potential replacement for L. It went a little something like this "Yes, you can tell that she's had children. It really makes a huge difference on stage. She just seems so much more mature and womanly. Yes, you can really tell she's had children."

So... first L wasn't good enough because she wasn't a mother, and now that she has children, you realize that it wasn't so much the whole children/no children thing that was an issue as her not being a hot Brazilian man? Gotcha.

It gets worse.

The future of the show isn't even remotely clear at the moment, but there's a chance we will be performing in Paris in the fall. That's kind of a big deal. L now fears that some producer is going to see O performing her act and want to hire him for it. Not only is this new mother getting screwed over by her long time employer, but she's now at risk of losing future employment because someone else is getting credit for her work! This tour is almost over, having new work possibilities is pretty crucial. And from what I've heard, O hasn't exactly shied away from using other people's material in the past when it proved profitable.

So what can she do? The company doesn't feel they are doing anything wrong. They pull out bullshit logic like, "Oh... well, Paris wasn't part of the original contract so it doesn't apply to your maternity leave."

Newsflash: we never signed a contract (there's a reason for this, but I won't get into all that here). At most, it was said the that the tour would probably go on until June 2012. And if you look at the DVD release of this show, it states that the tour was from 2009 to 2013...

I feel like she needs to file a complaint. Her partner, who is also in the show, feels the same way. But I can understand her hesitation. She's afraid that if she rocks the boat, she won't be taken back at all. She has two new babies at home and the family needs the income.

I will never forget what a colleague said when one of my peers was about to become a parent: "It's easier for the guys. They can go off on tour right away and it doesn't matter. The baby needs their mother, they need her milk. It's so much easier for the guys..." In that case, the dad was the acrobat and the mum just followed him around on tour.

I know that it's hard for the men in the troupe to be away from their families. But at least there was never a question of whether or not they'd be allowed to have their jobs back once the baby was born.

I know many other woman in circus who have had children and continue to tour and perform. I have no idea how they do it, but I admire and respect them for it. Personally, I can't help but think it would be the end of my career.

I am disgusted by the actions of my company. By their own logic (so and so brings more to the show), there are a couple of musicians who should be let go because when their replacements perform, not only do they bring a much better energy to the show, but they also play their instruments a hell of a lot better. Oh wait... they're Associates. Never mind...

Balancing motherhood and a career is challenging enough for most women, and frankly, I'm not sure just how much has been done to facilitate it. But for the modern female acrobat? I can't even wrap my head around it. And the attitude of my company, the idea of that having a child could be a fatal blow to your career...

I would have liked for this to be a reflective, measured post on women in circus and the effect that motherhood has on that role. But I am not a mother, only a witness to an acrobat's struggle with motherhood and returning to work. As a woman and her friend, I can't get beyond the anger, frustration, and inability to understand how this is even an issue today. 

If you're a woman in the circus and have had a child, I would love to hear about your experiences.