The New Winner

I used to joke that the wheel always wins. Once you accept that, things get a lot easier. It turns out I've been wrong. The wheel doesn't always win. The wheel is at the mercy of the floor and as for me, I'm just along for the ride.

I tested the floor I'll be working on for the next eight months for the first time yesterday. In some ways, it was not as bad as I thought. In others, it was far worse. It left me feeling discouraged and afraid.

Today I had a proper training session rather than just testing the waters. I am no less discouraged for it. I can't help but suspect that this is actually one of the better floor set-ups I'm going to have. Apparently there's one city where the slope is so pronounced that the difference from one side of the stage to the other is 18cm! I can't even...

In spirals, I am pulled downstage right no matter how hard I try otherwise. In straight lines, the height difference in the floor boards knocks my wheel so much that it either kills all my momentum, makes the wheel too unstable to execute the figure safely, shifts the angle of the wheel so drastically that I risk falling off the stage if I continue, or all of the above. Wheel has always meant doing mental calculations and adjustments while executing figures, but this is beyond extreme.

I hate feeling like I can't do my job, or like I will have to present something that is far beneath my ability. I want to be proud of what I'm doing, not feel embarrassed by it. Dumbing myself down technically makes me feel like so much less of an artist and it breaks my heart.

I have asked to be on the team that sets up the floor. I figure if I'm going to be a pain in the ass about it, I might as well be there to help. In the meantime, please pray to floor gods to be nice to me. I need all the help I can get...