Transition

I was walking back to the circus after a trip to the grocery store and was surprised to see white and red wagons with red and gold lettering all over them. Then, I felt strangely sad...

I spent the last four years on tour with the same circus. I'm so used to seeing a yellow and maroon tent, with big yellow trucks with maroon lettering. At this circus, everything looks impeccable, shiny, and new. My old circus was kind of shabby, but the familiarity made it feel like home.

I'm sure that in time this place will feel like home too. And I really am truly impressed with their philosophy and how things are run. Sometimes it feels like there are way too many rules and regulations (we spent an hour and a half talking about them this afternoon), but I suspect that in practice, it really won't be a big deal at all.

I just don't understand these feelings of sadness. It's definitely feels strange to act out the same old routine in such different surroundings. Maybe it has to do with the knowledge that my old circus is starting the new creation at this very moment, and it hurts to feel left behind. Familiar tasks in an unfamiliar setting should be comforting, no? Not a reminder of what you've lost.

It's a funny thing this circus life. Sometimes I wonder how much longer I will be a part of it...