Sunday, March 31, 2013
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Then and Now
Not too long ago I read some of the early posts from this blog. I wanted to compare this creation to the creation with my previous company. I read about the premiere of that show and how nervous I was. It would seem I spent most of that day wandering around in a panic, trying not to cry and/or vomit.
Super.
Fast forward to this show's premiere. I felt pretty calm for most of the day. By that point, we had run the show every night that week so in some ways, it didn't feel like a premiere so much as the fifth show of the week. Of course when it was time to roll on out, I'm pretty sure I had that look of grim determination that you might have on your way to the gallows. There was tension and an underlying nervousness, sure, but also the steely calmness that comes with resolve. And once I got out there? It felt like I was simultaneously sharing a secret and giving a gift (to myself and the audience). It was wonderful.
Afterward, two things came to mind. My very first wheel presentation in the first year of circus school, and my performance at the closing ceremonies of the winter Olympics in Torino.
My first ever wheel presentation was perhaps 45 seconds long and I was so incredibly nervous (terrified) that my face was a deep dark red. I'm pretty sure I held my breath the entire time.
At the Olympics, I was still pretty deliriously nervous. I mean, we're talking performing in front of 30 000 people! But what most struck me is how I was barely aware of what happened. It all went by so fast that I couldn't appreciate what was going on and really experience the moment. Afterward, I remember wishing I was more experienced as an artist so that I could have been more present.
Upon leaving the stage the night of the premiere, I could feel the last ten years under my feet. While I still have nerves, they didn't overwhelm and control me. And as for being in the moment, I feel like I can still see individual faces of the public in my mind, and reconnect with that joy I felt while on stage.
It's an incredible thing to be able to see the arc of your own growth and connect the dots between then and now. There are 246 shows to be done in the next 8 months. I can only imagine where I'll be by then.
Super.
Fast forward to this show's premiere. I felt pretty calm for most of the day. By that point, we had run the show every night that week so in some ways, it didn't feel like a premiere so much as the fifth show of the week. Of course when it was time to roll on out, I'm pretty sure I had that look of grim determination that you might have on your way to the gallows. There was tension and an underlying nervousness, sure, but also the steely calmness that comes with resolve. And once I got out there? It felt like I was simultaneously sharing a secret and giving a gift (to myself and the audience). It was wonderful.
Afterward, two things came to mind. My very first wheel presentation in the first year of circus school, and my performance at the closing ceremonies of the winter Olympics in Torino.
My first ever wheel presentation was perhaps 45 seconds long and I was so incredibly nervous (terrified) that my face was a deep dark red. I'm pretty sure I held my breath the entire time.
At the Olympics, I was still pretty deliriously nervous. I mean, we're talking performing in front of 30 000 people! But what most struck me is how I was barely aware of what happened. It all went by so fast that I couldn't appreciate what was going on and really experience the moment. Afterward, I remember wishing I was more experienced as an artist so that I could have been more present.
Upon leaving the stage the night of the premiere, I could feel the last ten years under my feet. While I still have nerves, they didn't overwhelm and control me. And as for being in the moment, I feel like I can still see individual faces of the public in my mind, and reconnect with that joy I felt while on stage.
It's an incredible thing to be able to see the arc of your own growth and connect the dots between then and now. There are 246 shows to be done in the next 8 months. I can only imagine where I'll be by then.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
World Circus
Here's the trailer for a new circus documentary called World Circus.
For more info, check out the official official site here.
For more info, check out the official official site here.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
The Fear
I am utterly exhausted. I knew I was spoiled rotten at my old job, but holy moly this is hard. The circus never stops. Right now it feels like all I do is get up, eat, do a show, eat, do another show, tear down, eat, and go to bed. If I'm lucky there's a shower in there some place too.
On the day of the fourth show, our seventh day of work in a row, I thought my arms would fall off and my legs would give out. It wasn't even that I was sore, I just had no energy, no strength, no nothing. My temper is short and my mood is a little grim. I have never been so tired on every conceivable level in my life.
Not only is it only the beginning, but there are eight months of this ahead. And I'm terrified I'm not going to be able to make it. Am I strong enough? Stable enough? Fit enough? Will I crack under the pressure? Will the strain of it all wear me down to a nub?
Right now, I don't know. Right now, it feels like I won't be able to. In the end, I don't really have a choice in the matter. We're all in this together and without every single person here, it won't work.
If you need me, I'll be whimpering in the corner while I wait for my body to toughen up and adapt to this harsh new circus reality.
On the day of the fourth show, our seventh day of work in a row, I thought my arms would fall off and my legs would give out. It wasn't even that I was sore, I just had no energy, no strength, no nothing. My temper is short and my mood is a little grim. I have never been so tired on every conceivable level in my life.
Not only is it only the beginning, but there are eight months of this ahead. And I'm terrified I'm not going to be able to make it. Am I strong enough? Stable enough? Fit enough? Will I crack under the pressure? Will the strain of it all wear me down to a nub?
Right now, I don't know. Right now, it feels like I won't be able to. In the end, I don't really have a choice in the matter. We're all in this together and without every single person here, it won't work.
If you need me, I'll be whimpering in the corner while I wait for my body to toughen up and adapt to this harsh new circus reality.
Advice From Pixar
In the middle of creation and feeling a little stuck? These rules were originally tweeted by Emma Coates, Pixar’s Story
Artist. While this is meant for writers, I think quite a few of these apply to the creative process of the contemporary circus artist. Enjoy!
1.You admire a character for trying more than for their successes.
2.You gotta keep in mind what’s interesting to you as an audience, not what’s fun to do as a writer. They can be very different.
3.Trying for theme is important, but you won’t see what the story is actually about til you’re at the end of it. Now rewrite.
4.Once upon a time there was ___. Every day, ___. One day ___. Because of that, ___. Because of that, ___. Until finally ___.
5.Simplify. Focus. Combine characters. Hop over detours. You’ll feel like you’re losing valuable stuff but it sets you free.
6.What is your character good at, comfortable with? Throw the polar opposite at them. Challenge them. How do they deal?
7.Come up with your ending before you figure out your middle. Seriously. Endings are hard, get yours working up front.
8.Finish your story, let go even if it’s not perfect. In an ideal world you have both, but move on. Do better next time.
9.When you’re stuck, make a list of what WOULDN’T happen next. Lots of times the material to get you unstuck will show up.
10.Pull apart the stories you like. What you like in them is a part of you; you’ve got to recognize it before you can use it.
11.Putting it on paper lets you start fixing it. If it stays in your head, a perfect idea, you’ll never share it with anyone.
12.Discount the 1st thing that comes to mind. And the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th – get the obvious out of the way. Surprise yourself.
13.Give your characters opinions. Passive/malleable might seem likable to you as you write, but it’s poison to the audience.
14.Why must you tell THIS story? What’s the belief burning within you that your story feeds off of? That’s the heart of it.
15.If you were your character, in this situation, how would you feel? Honesty lends credibility to unbelievable situations.
16.What are the stakes? Give us reason to root for the character. What happens if they don’t succeed? Stack the odds against.
17.No work is ever wasted. If it’s not working, let go and move on – it’ll come back around to be useful later.
18.You have to know yourself: the difference between doing your best & fussing. Story is testing, not refining.
19.Coincidences to get characters into trouble are great; coincidences to get them out of it are cheating.
20.Exercise: take the building blocks of a movie you dislike. How d’you rearrange them into what you DO like?
21.You gotta identify with your situation/characters, can’t just write ‘cool’. What would make YOU act that way?
22.What’s the essence of your story? Most economical telling of it? If you know that, you can build out from there.
1.You admire a character for trying more than for their successes.
2.You gotta keep in mind what’s interesting to you as an audience, not what’s fun to do as a writer. They can be very different.
3.Trying for theme is important, but you won’t see what the story is actually about til you’re at the end of it. Now rewrite.
4.Once upon a time there was ___. Every day, ___. One day ___. Because of that, ___. Because of that, ___. Until finally ___.
5.Simplify. Focus. Combine characters. Hop over detours. You’ll feel like you’re losing valuable stuff but it sets you free.
6.What is your character good at, comfortable with? Throw the polar opposite at them. Challenge them. How do they deal?
7.Come up with your ending before you figure out your middle. Seriously. Endings are hard, get yours working up front.
8.Finish your story, let go even if it’s not perfect. In an ideal world you have both, but move on. Do better next time.
9.When you’re stuck, make a list of what WOULDN’T happen next. Lots of times the material to get you unstuck will show up.
10.Pull apart the stories you like. What you like in them is a part of you; you’ve got to recognize it before you can use it.
11.Putting it on paper lets you start fixing it. If it stays in your head, a perfect idea, you’ll never share it with anyone.
12.Discount the 1st thing that comes to mind. And the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th – get the obvious out of the way. Surprise yourself.
13.Give your characters opinions. Passive/malleable might seem likable to you as you write, but it’s poison to the audience.
14.Why must you tell THIS story? What’s the belief burning within you that your story feeds off of? That’s the heart of it.
15.If you were your character, in this situation, how would you feel? Honesty lends credibility to unbelievable situations.
16.What are the stakes? Give us reason to root for the character. What happens if they don’t succeed? Stack the odds against.
17.No work is ever wasted. If it’s not working, let go and move on – it’ll come back around to be useful later.
18.You have to know yourself: the difference between doing your best & fussing. Story is testing, not refining.
19.Coincidences to get characters into trouble are great; coincidences to get them out of it are cheating.
20.Exercise: take the building blocks of a movie you dislike. How d’you rearrange them into what you DO like?
21.You gotta identify with your situation/characters, can’t just write ‘cool’. What would make YOU act that way?
22.What’s the essence of your story? Most economical telling of it? If you know that, you can build out from there.
Monday, March 25, 2013
One Week for ONE DROP
In support of its ONE DROP foundation, Cirque du Soleil created an original production in celebration of World Water Day. Featuring the largest gathering of Cirque du Soleil performers on one stage, the show One Night for ONE DROP was presented for one-night only, last Friday in Las Vegas, to support ONE DROP in celebration of World Water Day.
This event was filmed with 12 cameras, in HD, inside the “O” Theatre at Bellagio.
This full 90-minute exclusive performance, available online only until March 31st, is viewable with a donation of $5 to ONE DROP, in favor of universal access to clean water.
Click here to watch.
This full 90-minute exclusive performance, available online only until March 31st, is viewable with a donation of $5 to ONE DROP, in favor of universal access to clean water.
Click here to watch.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
The Premiere
Sometimes, you just can't find the appropriate word. The best you can do is utter something lame like "wow", and that's if you can manage more than some barely audible mumbling. The premiere of this show was like that for me. It was intense, humbling, ecstatic, moving, and a huge relief.
And the applause... my goodness the applause! I remember thinking when I left my last company that I would never hear applause like that again. But the night of the premiere beat any ovation I have ever received in a show. And not just at the finale! The reaction after my act was nothing short of epic. I think part of it had to do with the fact that the I'm performing in the round (the last tour was proscenium style), and suddenly the applause was in surround sound. But when I wanted to leave the stage, I found that I couldn't! The applause was so loud and so long... the public wouldn't let me leave right away. I walked off that stage on air.
And after the applause, the bows, and the rounds of thanks, the circus invited the entire audience to free drinks, cold cuts, cheese, and crudités.
But our celebrations were cut short, what with two shows the next day. You would think that after all that work, you could take a small moment to catch your breath. But this is traditional circus, and there are no days off.
This circus is amazing. Their attention to detail and the pride they take in providing a magical experience for the audience is a sight to behold. And I think just as much attention was paid to the artists on opening night, though perhaps in a different way. The love and support from the workers was and remains tangible. We were left flowers and cards from the company directors and workers, as well as a special notes and candy from the show directors and costume ladies. At the end of the night, during the curtain call, we were showered with flowers given to the audience before the show. When the moment came, it felt like the shower of flowers would never end. I thought I was going to cry.
And the applause... my goodness the applause! I remember thinking when I left my last company that I would never hear applause like that again. But the night of the premiere beat any ovation I have ever received in a show. And not just at the finale! The reaction after my act was nothing short of epic. I think part of it had to do with the fact that the I'm performing in the round (the last tour was proscenium style), and suddenly the applause was in surround sound. But when I wanted to leave the stage, I found that I couldn't! The applause was so loud and so long... the public wouldn't let me leave right away. I walked off that stage on air.
And after the applause, the bows, and the rounds of thanks, the circus invited the entire audience to free drinks, cold cuts, cheese, and crudités.
But our celebrations were cut short, what with two shows the next day. You would think that after all that work, you could take a small moment to catch your breath. But this is traditional circus, and there are no days off.
Friday, March 22, 2013
It Begins
After weeks of rehearsals, and fourteen hour days in the final stretch, we made it through the premiere. The reviews I've seen so far seem extremely positive. One critic, after giving accolades to every act, goes on to say that no single number makes the show a success, but rather the imaginative combination of very different acts, the design of the details, the music, and the wonderful way which the clowns weave everything together. They even went so far as to call it a work of art.
Not bad for a modern traditional circus...
But in this circus, there's no time to bask in the glory of our success. Days of double shows, tear downs, build ups, and hitting the road are already nipping at our heels!
Not bad for a modern traditional circus...
But in this circus, there's no time to bask in the glory of our success. Days of double shows, tear downs, build ups, and hitting the road are already nipping at our heels!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Monday, March 18, 2013
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Overheard During Costume Fitting
*looking at a costume placed off to the side*
"Is this one of ours?"
"Yeah, that's my costume."
*stares*
"You are very small."
"Is this one of ours?"
"Yeah, that's my costume."
*stares*
"You are very small."
Friday, March 15, 2013
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Home Sweet Home
Our caravans are presently located between two fields. Those fields have recently been fertilized with heaping piles of manure.
In a nutshell, my caravan smells like shit.
That is all.
In a nutshell, my caravan smells like shit.
That is all.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Sunday, March 10, 2013
The FIrst Time All Over Again
Stepping into my new big top for the very first time was a pretty powerful moment. I've performed in a tent before, but this is different.
For starters, this is the first time I'm in a tent that performs in the round. The ring has a ring wall and everything. It's like walking into that romantic vision of the circus you have from childhood. But what really gets me is the smell. Oh how I just love the smell...
This circus puts down a fair bit of sawdust. The tent smells of canvas and cedar and it is absolutely intoxicating.
I stared doing circus ten years ago, I don't know that I ever expected to feel that kind of magic again. What a gift...
For starters, this is the first time I'm in a tent that performs in the round. The ring has a ring wall and everything. It's like walking into that romantic vision of the circus you have from childhood. But what really gets me is the smell. Oh how I just love the smell...
This circus puts down a fair bit of sawdust. The tent smells of canvas and cedar and it is absolutely intoxicating.
I stared doing circus ten years ago, I don't know that I ever expected to feel that kind of magic again. What a gift...
Friday, March 8, 2013
The New Winner
I used to joke that the wheel always wins. Once you accept that, things get a lot easier. It turns out I've been wrong. The wheel doesn't always win. The wheel is at the mercy of the floor and as for me, I'm just along for the ride.
I tested the floor I'll be working on for the next eight months for the first time yesterday. In some ways, it was not as bad as I thought. In others, it was far worse. It left me feeling discouraged and afraid.
Today I had a proper training session rather than just testing the waters. I am no less discouraged for it. I can't help but suspect that this is actually one of the better floor set-ups I'm going to have. Apparently there's one city where the slope is so pronounced that the difference from one side of the stage to the other is 18cm! I can't even...
In spirals, I am pulled downstage right no matter how hard I try otherwise. In straight lines, the height difference in the floor boards knocks my wheel so much that it either kills all my momentum, makes the wheel too unstable to execute the figure safely, shifts the angle of the wheel so drastically that I risk falling off the stage if I continue, or all of the above. Wheel has always meant doing mental calculations and adjustments while executing figures, but this is beyond extreme.
I hate feeling like I can't do my job, or like I will have to present something that is far beneath my ability. I want to be proud of what I'm doing, not feel embarrassed by it. Dumbing myself down technically makes me feel like so much less of an artist and it breaks my heart.
I have asked to be on the team that sets up the floor. I figure if I'm going to be a pain in the ass about it, I might as well be there to help. In the meantime, please pray to floor gods to be nice to me. I need all the help I can get...
I tested the floor I'll be working on for the next eight months for the first time yesterday. In some ways, it was not as bad as I thought. In others, it was far worse. It left me feeling discouraged and afraid.
Today I had a proper training session rather than just testing the waters. I am no less discouraged for it. I can't help but suspect that this is actually one of the better floor set-ups I'm going to have. Apparently there's one city where the slope is so pronounced that the difference from one side of the stage to the other is 18cm! I can't even...
In spirals, I am pulled downstage right no matter how hard I try otherwise. In straight lines, the height difference in the floor boards knocks my wheel so much that it either kills all my momentum, makes the wheel too unstable to execute the figure safely, shifts the angle of the wheel so drastically that I risk falling off the stage if I continue, or all of the above. Wheel has always meant doing mental calculations and adjustments while executing figures, but this is beyond extreme.
I hate feeling like I can't do my job, or like I will have to present something that is far beneath my ability. I want to be proud of what I'm doing, not feel embarrassed by it. Dumbing myself down technically makes me feel like so much less of an artist and it breaks my heart.
I have asked to be on the team that sets up the floor. I figure if I'm going to be a pain in the ass about it, I might as well be there to help. In the meantime, please pray to floor gods to be nice to me. I need all the help I can get...
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Monday, March 4, 2013
Saturday, March 2, 2013
That Point
I was making the trek from the circus lot to the winter quarters for an afternoon of training. The tent has just gone up for the first time this season and they aren't quite ready to bring in all of the equipment. The rest of the cast was busy choreographing one of the group numbers, but as it's right before my act, I'm not in it.
As I was walking it occurred to me that this isn't really a creation for me. I mean, yes, we're putting together a show, but hardly from scratch. With a couple of exceptions, everyone came in with an act. It may have taken some time to adapt them to the music from the show, but that hardly takes two months. Due to the order of the show, I'm not really in any of the group acts, so that leaves me with considerable free time as well.
There are transitions to work out, but even then, they're very short as the clowns do all the real scenes between acts. Just the other day we set four transitions before lunch.
No wonder I feel bored. Training is nice and all that, but every afternoon is the same. I don't really feel all that challenged or motivated. Sometimes, it doesn't even feel like I'm working toward something. That can be dangerous, especially since the premiere is only two weeks away!
I have a feeling that all that is about to change. Tomorrow I try wheel in the actual space for the first time. The stage looks minuscule and slippery as hell. It's also uneven and I strongly suspect it's going to sound like the apocalypse when I roll on it. I have some serious adapting to do.
I think we're about to come face to face with just how much is actually missing and how many loose ends there still are. Hopefully all the props and accessories will soon arrive and everything will start to come together.
But if experience has taught me anything at all, there's still some serious falling apart that needs to happen before things can truly come together.
As I was walking it occurred to me that this isn't really a creation for me. I mean, yes, we're putting together a show, but hardly from scratch. With a couple of exceptions, everyone came in with an act. It may have taken some time to adapt them to the music from the show, but that hardly takes two months. Due to the order of the show, I'm not really in any of the group acts, so that leaves me with considerable free time as well.
There are transitions to work out, but even then, they're very short as the clowns do all the real scenes between acts. Just the other day we set four transitions before lunch.
No wonder I feel bored. Training is nice and all that, but every afternoon is the same. I don't really feel all that challenged or motivated. Sometimes, it doesn't even feel like I'm working toward something. That can be dangerous, especially since the premiere is only two weeks away!
I have a feeling that all that is about to change. Tomorrow I try wheel in the actual space for the first time. The stage looks minuscule and slippery as hell. It's also uneven and I strongly suspect it's going to sound like the apocalypse when I roll on it. I have some serious adapting to do.
I think we're about to come face to face with just how much is actually missing and how many loose ends there still are. Hopefully all the props and accessories will soon arrive and everything will start to come together.
But if experience has taught me anything at all, there's still some serious falling apart that needs to happen before things can truly come together.
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