New Rule

Sauerkraut may not be cooked in the theatre.

Last night was probably the most disgusting show I have ever performed in. For this leg of the tour, the circus kitchen is in the theatre, right next to the stage area. On this otherwise unremarkable Saturday, the biggest vat of sauerkraut you have ever seen spent the entire day simmering and contaminating the theatre with its noxious odor. By the time show time came around, the stench of over-cooked cabbage was so strong you could hardly breathe. There's nothing quite like trying to catch your breath after your act only to have stinky cabbage fumes fill your lungs. Except maybe wearing a mask and breathing condensed cabbage fumes through the tiny nose holes.

After the show, a woman asked what kind of paint we used because it smelled so strange.

The Director of the theatre was none too pleased either. His reaction to the news that the sauerkraut was actually being prepared in advance for today's dinner?

"You mean you're going to reheat it tomorrow..."

Today all the doors in the theatre were wiiiiiiiiiide open.

Me? I skipped dinner.