It is Friday morning. The premiere has come and gone. There were so many moments yesterday where I wanted to write but couldn't sit still long enough to it. In the end, it was for the best. I needed to be "in the present" as one of my colleagues here often says.
I'm going to write about the day in different installments. Partly because I really feel like the day can be divided into different parts, but mostly because it will be really long otherwise.
Yesterday was a crazy roller coaster kind of day. I'm pretty sure I was in a state of shock upon waking up. For the better part of the morning, I don't think I felt anything at all. I don't mean I wasn't nervous. I mean I was completely numb. In case you're wondering, that is a bad place to be.
I think the better part of the morning was spent wandering around aimlessly. I did maybe 15 minutes of wheel to go over a couple of moves that had been giving me trouble in the two previous runs before continuing the aimless wandering. During brief moments, my eyes unglazed and I was able to see the circus around me. Its really a beautiful thing, this circus life. Where we are right now, though tiny and quiet, is beautiful and serene. We're surrounded by mountains, there are little forts looking down on us. The sun was shining, the grass tall and green, and the trees around us are all blossoming. The caravans, the dogs, the sounds of preparation... all these things make up the magical little world I'm now a part of. And I am a part of it. In that moment, I was overwhelmed by just how amazing it is for me to be here, to be part of a troupe and part of a show. I'm in the feakin' circus!
It was after this moment of awe and wonderment that I slipped into the second phase of my premiere day...
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