Ow

Just... ow.

I Think We're Being Followed...

Where Good Ideas Come From

I came across this really fascinating video about where good ideas come from and while I suspect it's meant to apply to more scientific discoveries, I think it also applies to art and the creative process.




For a more in-depth discussion on this subject by the same author, with some great anecdotes, please head here.

Enjoy!

Barbara

On more than one occasion, I have been asked what I plan on doing as a career when I get older. And I admit, I've asked myself that very same question. While it is true that German wheel is relatively kind to the body, especially compared to many other circus disciplines, my body hurts. Quite a lot of the time, I might add.

As it turns out, however, I am never allowed to complain again.

Ever.

Why?  Because of a woman named Barbara...




Only 57 years to go until retirement...

What the...?

Where did you come from?! We left Nantes over a month ago!

Presents!

 Last night was Circus Christmas*, so how fitting that some excited, thoughtful, and lovely audience members came to the show bearing gifts! Apparently they loved the last show my circus performed so much that they've been waiting for the current show with considerable impatience! They drew pictures in advance to give to us during curtain call! And, somewhat inexplicably, they gave us a book!

Plus, the two little girls responsible for the drawings that follow had watched and studied the video of the previous show at school! Now that's an awesome teacher. No wonder they couldn't wait to see us in action!

The best part is that the morning after the show, we received an e-mail from the girls' mother that included pictures of the girls and some pictures of the exchange going down! Now that's what I call capturing the moment.

Did I mention that I love it when kids send us drawings? Because I do.







* Foie gras, snails, chestnuts, duck breast... yeah, Christmas at a French circus can be pretty swell! And delicious...

Overheard Backstage

"How are your arms?"

"They're good. Oh... they're bleeding..."

Memory Lane

Look out! An Ice Dragon!


Okay, so I'm not actually supposed to be an Ice Dragon, but being an Ice Dragon is way more awesome than what I'm actually supposed to be*.

Of all the costumes I have ever worn, this one is easily my favourite. True, it's made of spandex covered in vinyl, covered in velour, covered in glitter... and it easily weighs 10 lbs... but look at all its majesty!

Really, what I love is how it screams Cirque du Soleil. This was part of my costume for the closing ceremonies of the 2006 Winter Olympic Games in Torino. I was still in circus school at the time, so to be wearing a costume like that was pretty damn exciting.

The best part? They let us keep it! I've never worn it for anything else, but I really should. So if your next production calls for an Ice Dragon, give me a shout.




* Well? Aren't you at least going to guess?

La Loi de l'Emmerdement Maximale

The only way I can think to write this post is as a long list of complaints. Personally, I don't really enjoy writing those kinds of posts, nor do I terribly enjoy reading those kinds of posts. And yet, when a series of events slides so far off base and so much goes so wrong, how else can you proceed?

Despite massive amounts of evidence suggesting that getting the show together in Voiron would be laborious at best, those in charge let personal relationships and what can only be described as denial guide us into two full days of misery.

As I mentioned in a previous post, A isn't here because he has a mad case of mono. C is replacing him and the director naively chose to believe that since C replaced him for two shows nine months ago, the transition would go smoothly. Only when C replaced A in Besac, he mostly just did the straps act. All of A's backstage cues were handed to other cast members. This was not the case here. And of course, A was at least in Besac and could be consulted for details and specifics. In Voiron, we are adrift.

Add to that the fact that the man who took most of A's manipulations in Besac isn't here either. His replacement is. So there's no asking P what to do either.

So we arrived in Voiron and proceeded as usual. Meaning we didn't meet until 2pm. The meeting found a very surprised group of people with a very packed rehearsal schedule. We had to rehearse all the moments with C. And we had to rehearse all the things that normally get rehearsed the day of a run through. We started the run at 9pm. When we got to the final act, the group trampo-wall number, we stopped. Everyone but the four main acrobats went back to the hotel. We, the acrobats, stayed past midnight making the act work. D isn't comfortable on trampoline and so she never took C's jumps. Without A, we're two people short in the act. There's only so much M, L and myself can do.

There's no denying the run-through was bad. And despite more rehearsals the morning of the premiere, the premiere wasn't much better. There were so many technical problems I can't even begin to name them all. C forgot the first of his newly acquired cues resulting in quite the impressive temps morts on stage. We're talking serious crickets. Unfortunately, the way it was dealt with meant that a later scene in the show no longer any made sense and so fell flat...

But the true gem is the moment where we set up the trampoline for the group act at the end. To put it mildly, there is no room. When people talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place they're talking about this moment.

The first time we tried it, we didn't realize just how little space we had. When we noticed that the structure was in the way, we naturally tried to push it further back. What we didn't realize is that there was a technical bridge in the way. We were pushing the bottom but the top was stuck on the bridge. I'm sure that in some alternate Universe the entire structure fell over, crushing L, C, and I to death. Fortunately, we just had the entire thing kick back and forcibly push us back to where we started.

Which brings us to the rock and hard place. One side of the trampoline is touching the curtain. The bass player, due to limited space on stage (what with a trapeze flying in his face and all) has to stand right up against the curtain, and therefore, the trampoline. As does the drummer. So there's no room on that side. But the other side has perhaps a margin of 10cm before the structure. Bear in mind, people need to walk back and forth between the trampoline and the structure, as well as the trampoline and the curtain. The whole thing just leads to much elbowing and suddenly finding yourself stuck between the trampoline and the structure because someone decided to get a little room elsewhere.

I've been pinched, crushed, bruised, had my head bashed, and formed blood blisters all by trying to set up the trampoline in this non-existent space. And the run isn't over yet.

Then there's the state of the music, the fact that we can't even hear the audience, the sound system crapping out (that was a fun show), the lighting system crapping out the same day as the sound system (fun fun fun), and my falling ill...

Nothing but good times.

I Got New Pants!

After almost two years on tour, a couple hundred shows and almost as many promises, I finally have new pants! They're not the same fabric, but that's okay because these ones sparkle!

Old pants...

New pants...

The side-by-side comparison...

Aren't they beautiful? No more gross, discoloured, practically-no-more-fabric-in-the-knees pants for me! It's all bright and shiny from here on in! True, the first time I wore the new pants on stage the zipper came undone and they started to fall off, but it was only a run-through and a clip has since been attached. Considering the costume designer spends more time complaining about how much work she has rather than doing the actual work in question, I consider it a small miracle to even have new pants. Reliable zipper or not.

So hooray for new pants!

Leap of Faith

If you could use a little inspiration, or would like to be moved to tears, watch this video.

If not, watch it anyway.

Are You Kidding Me?

A will not be joining us in Voiron. He will not be joining us in Voiron because he is currently hospitalized with mononucleosis. There is a very good chance that he will not be joining us on tour in the New Year either.

Seriously?

We're already having auditions for a potential replacement for L in Voiron. I'm beginning to think that my health is not the only thing that's jinxed...

The only silver lining in all of this is that the man who will be replacing A in Voiron already replaced him for two shows back in the spring. So it stands to reason that we won't be spending the two weeks before Christmas trapped in a pitch dark theatre all day long, right?

Right?

CINARS - Circus Incognitus (Jamie Adkins)

The first time I ever saw Jamie Adkins perform was also the first time I ever participated in a CINARS event. At the time, he was performing a part of his previous show, Typo. Six years later he's back with Circus Incognitus and it's just as brilliant.

Honestly, I can't say enough good things about Jamie Adkins. He is one of those rare performers that simply makes you fall in love with him. His work is extremely creative, free of pretension, and masterfully performed. Jamie takes the audience by the hand and doesn't let go. He is charming, funny and has brilliant timing. But its the way he interacts with the audience that shows what a seasoned artist he is. Jamie takes whatever the audience or circumstance happens to throw at him and makes it work for him and the show. The best example of the CINARS performance would be the use of the line "Twenty-five minutes!", referring to the time limit imposed by the event. Incredibly simple, but it makes a show suddenly seem like it was made especially for the people watching it at that moment.

And the real life Jamie? I've had the pleasure of meeting him and was even in a show with him once (though I doubt he would remember me). He is the man he is on stage, which is to say friendly, funny and generally awesome. If ever you have the opportunity to see him perform, take it. His show may be geared toward a youth audience, but I guarantee, your inner child will be standing on its seat screaming and laughing along with everyone else.



A longer, but lower quality video, can be found here.

CINARS - Inside Out (Cirkus Cirkör)

I hate to say it, but I really don't think this was a particularly successful sales pitch. I know I shouldn't even be referring to a show as a sales pitch, but that's kind of the point of CINARS. And its not that the show is bad, its that I had no idea of what the show was supposed to be, really.

For some reason, Cirkör chose to focus more on video that its actual artists. There were, of course, excerpts from the show, but they let the entire promo video (embedded below) run while a guy did some bad simple wheel in front of the screen. I can see how it might have been a good idea to show the very well filmed promo video, but next to the companies that actually performed coherent portions of their shows it just didn't work.

For starters, you couldn't help but wonder if the show is actually like that. Having an extremely visually stimulating video projected while some other visually stimulating thing is going on simultaneously in front of that visually stimulating video is just way too much to take in. You don't even want to look.

But worse is that next to the very artfully filmed video, the live version just looked, well, cheap. The worst part, for me, was the singer. Her costume, a long red dress and feathered head dress, screams elegance and power. But the woman in the costume was moving like a 15 year old grooving to some indie rock tune in the back of a bar. Speaking of indie rock music, for me, there was a serious disconnect between what was happening on stage (specifically, the Universe the artists were creating) and the accompanying music. When I see a decaying traditional circus that seems to have ripped the heart out of some unsuspecting audience member, I expect the music to kind of support that. And while I must admit it does work more or less for the video, it quickly becomes out of place during the live version of the show. Perhaps as a whole, this is not the case. I couldn't say.

My friend K, however, was beautiful. He's a slack rope walker and for me is a perfect example of what a contemporary circus artist should be.

I would definitely be curious to see this show in full, but not without a supply of ibuprofen.

CINARS - Les Parfaits Inconnus

Okay. There's only one word to describe Les Parfaits Inconnus and that word is fun. Very high energy, great characters, and live music made for a seriously good time. And I think they did a brilliant job of selling their show in the respect that if I were a buyer, I would know exactly the kind of show I would be getting. Not to mention they came off as incredibly charming.

Sadly, this is one of those examples of the disconnect between audience member and buyer. I really liked what I saw but the two buyers seated behind me didn't seem impressed. They were more enamored with the emotionally void Australians than these vibrant and zany guys! The base player, who had a wonderfully nerdy character, managed to maintain that persona while performing technical skills on a rola-bolla! For me, that's circus. Way more than just a salto all on its own.

Even more surprising, the friend I saw the show with (and a fellow circus artist to boot) felt that it had too much of a school presentation vibe and didn't care for it as a professional show. Hm. Its true it was quite silly, but I think the real issue is that the energy remained the same the entire 25 minutes. I can't really say monotone, because for me that means flat. This show was certainly not flat, but it could use some variations in energy. Then again, I only saw 25 minutes, so who could say?

One thing I really appreciated as an artist is that I learned something. I don't know that I've ever seen a better example of manipulating the audience to believe that the skills being performed are much harder than they actually are, therefore making the artist seem that much more impressive when they succeed. I don't mean to come off as cynical. I'm not. That kind of showmanship is a huge part of the circus tradition. To see it executed so well is a treat and certainly food for thought.

I suspect that the video below is of a much older version of the show. The version I saw had six artists, not four. But it still gives a good idea of what Les Parfaits Inconnus are all about.

CINARS - CIRCA

The first company to present their work was Australia's CIRCA. I've got to say, I'm somewhat on the fence about them. Technically, they were very good. Very, very good. The artists moved with fluidity and maturity. They were strong, performed skills that were both impressive and creative, and clearly mastered their technique.

I particularly appreciated the way the women were represented in the show (well, the sample of the show I got to see, anyway). The women were just as powerful as the men, sometimes more so. For me, this was most apparent in the sports acro dance piece where both men and women acted as both porters and flyers. Often, I see women perform more skills that I can only describe as fluff, but these women were skilled, strong, and feminine acrobats. It was a pleasure to watch.

That being said, here's what leaves me on the fence: the skills were there, but for the vast majority of the presentation, nobody on stage gave me anything.

What I mean is, they were far too neutral. Of course, being neutral is a very possible state of being on stage, but the audience should still feel that the artist is present and fully engaged. There were many moments where I felt like the artists were just standing there, completely detached from what was going on around them or worse, oblivious to the fact that people were watching them. This was most apparent in the sports acro dance piece. There were many moments where I felt like the music was doing all the work.

There was a wonderful moment where a woman in sparkly red spiked heels walked all over and physically manipulated one of her male colleagues. The idea is spectacular, and while there was definitely more feeling that in the previous moments on stage, I still felt that the artists were holding back and that they could have gone much further with what they were doing/feeling. If the woman in the heels really was going all out, she wasn't able to fully transmit that to the public. If she can find a way to do that, that number would go from good to brilliant.

I would like to see this show in its entirety. Since I can't do that at this time, here's a video!

CINARS

CINARS (Conférence internationale des arts de la scène*) is a concept that was developed in the 80s where artists, producers, buyers and artistic-event programmers from Canada, the Americas, Europe and Asia come together to discover productions of all kinds: dance, music, theatre or multidisciplinary arts. The first ever CINARS was held in Montreal in 1984. In a nutshell, CINARS aims to promote and facilitate greater touring opportunites of artistic productions and creations.


The other night I had the opportunity to see the circus segment of CINARS. My friend K just so happened to be performing with Cirkus Cirkor and while I came into town to see him, I also managed to score a pair of tickets to see the show!

'Show' is a generous term, of course. 'Showcase' is a better way of putting it. Four companies presented 25 minute versions of their shows in hopes of selling it to different producers.

Sitting in the audience was a very interesting experience for me. As a circus artist, I make for a very demanding (and critical) member of the public during a circus show. As an artist, I am most deeply concerned with what is projected from the artists on stage and what (if anything) they make me feel. For me, a truly successful piece consists of great skill and great emotional depth. Hearing what the business types had to say about what they were seeing, and witnessing what made them react most, was discouraging to say the least. Mind you, I did know at least one artist in three of the four shows being presented, so I did take their criticisms a little personally.

The point is, it would appear that what's important to me as an artist, both technically and artistically, doesn't mean jack in the eyes of the buyers. But then, they're not a 'real' audience either, so who can say who's in the right?

I was initially going to write one big long post on the whole thing, but I think to truly do the night justice, I'll need to do this Montreal Completement Cirque style, which is to say, multiple entries. That means as a reader, you get to live vicariously through me, and as the critic, I get to live vicariously through the artists!

Get ready for CINARS 2010, circus style!







* International Conference for the Performing Arts

The Haunting

This is me.


My insides, anyway.

This is one of the many x-rays I had taken of my neck today. And while all the others (even the weird one where I had to lie down and open my mouth really wide) just look like regular x-rays to me, this one scares me.

Something about this image is unbearably sad to me.

I'm not a doctor, and it's probably just my fear talking, but it seems to me like my neck is damaged. And, again, perhaps it's just my fear talking, but my body language seems to suggest that I know this. Worse than that; that I know that some kind of end is near...

I've always found sadness has its own compelling beauty. Even though this is me, my career, and my life, I still feel that way. And I think that scares me too.

The Jinx

When I was a kid, there was this rather terrible educational program that I really enjoyed called Adventures in Wonderland. You know, adolescent main character has a problem, has an adventure with a gaggle of zany friends, learns a lesson, roll credits.

The reason I mention this program is because almost 20 years later there is one piece of dialogue that has remained lodged in my brain and it just so happens to be the perfect segue into the actual topic of this post.

"Once is a coincidence. Twice is a coincidence. Ten times is a coincidence! But three times? Definitely not a coincidence."

Every time I have come home during a break from my circus I have developed some mysterious injury. I say 'mysterious injury' because these injuries always seem to manifest themselves when I stop training and stop performing. This is incredibly frustrating because at least if I was training and, say, fell on my head, I could easily explain the cause of my injury.

But the mysterious back problem? That started while I was sitting in a car.

My neck injury? Well, okay, I'm pretty sure I know what caused that (hey there, trampo-wall), but the pain waited until I was on vacation before it really settled in.

Now that I'm back in Montreal, and only for three weeks I might add, a brand new development has decided to make my life unpleasant and fill me with fear: numbness.

Yes, I know, it sounds harmless. But when it starts in one arm, then spreads to the other, then a few days later a leg, and then (wait for it) the other leg, well... to say that I am concerned is an understatement. Especially since neck and back pain have joined the party. And it's a swinging party. It wakes me up at night so that I don't miss out.

Third stint home, third type of injury, third time's a charm...

Personally, I think its a jinx.

I come home, I hurt. It's not like I don't have time off from the show while I'm in France. Because I do, and generally speaking, it doesn't leave me whimpering in pain in the corner. I get to Montreal and BAM! Tears and emergency visits to the doctor.

The good news is that I somehow managed to get an MRI appointment before I head back to France. Anyone familiar with the health care system in Quebec will know that this is a bloody miracle. Also, when I went to the hospital, they gave me drugs. And those drugs are making me feel better.

Now let's hope I can also get some answers followed by some good news...



* I can't mention an embarrassing television program and not link to it, can I? Have fun...

And this?

Leaves me even more perplexed.

Fall Down Seven Times...

...stand up eight.

Remember that post about Roubaix? The following video is a brilliant example of the lesson learned that show. I don't believe I mentioned it, but I had a similar evening in Reze only this time, I received the complete opposite feedback from one of the musicians. In fact, when I told him that making that second attempt, and then succeeding is what circus is all about, he told me "No. I don't agree."

Well, N. Considering the following includes some seriously well known, award winning, big time acts, I guess I was right.

Watch the falls.

See the audience react.

Watch the artists try again.

See the audience react.



That, ladies and gentlemen, is what circus is all about.

Memory Lane

Okay, so this has nothing to do with the circus I'm currently working for, but it is a flashback on my career and is definitely worth sharing.

Any circus artist out there will have similar stories to tell. Theirs may involve weird appendages, sequins or spandex. Or perhaps unitards, head pieces and extremely bad taste. My story involves all of that and more.

I was working on a show in a small town in Quebec, and while the venue was impressive (it was outside and the audience rotated 360 degrees thus making the adjacent river and forest part of the stage), the show itself was not. But the best part, and by best I mean worst, was the costumes.

Some people may say that a picture is worth a thousand words. In this case, the picture robs me of those words, so I'll let it do the talking...

Behold!


Is that a gaggle of diseased sperm? No, no! We're moon people silly! And here is our Princess!


I...

Oh my...

Did I mention that the show was outside? And that it rained a lot? And did you notice that the costumes are made of white spandex?

Worst. Costumes. Ever.

A fun side note, C and I worked together on this show too!

Ah, the memories...

Diva Cup

This is one of those posts that begins with various euphemisms meant to spare the menfolk squeamish feelings and warn them that they may not wish to proceed further with this post because of the content the aforementioned euphemisms refer to.

Understand, squeamish menfolk?

Good.

Moving on...

The Diva Cup is a menstrual cup and particularly awesome alternative to more mainstream menstrual products like pads and tampons.

Before making the move to France* to go work for my circus, C and I decided that we would switch to Diva Cups. We had both been considering it for a while but were too chicken (or perhaps squeamish) to go for it on our own. But by making a pact to switch over at the same time, we would at least have some kind of warped buddy system to fall back on should we get discouraged.

As it turns out, that was completely unnecessary. The Diva Cup is absolutely amazing, has completely changed my relationship with my menstrual cycle and since switching to the Diva Cup, I have never looked back. Moreover, for a circus artist, it is incredibly convenient and means no more worrying about leaks or visible strings etc... during training or performance.

There are about a billion reasons to switch.

• The Diva Cup will save you a butt load of money and pays itself off very quickly (Mine was about $38 CND).
• By using a Diva Cup, you're eliminating tonnes of waste you would otherwise be sending to a landfill over your lifetime.

“According to waste consultant Franklin Associates, 6.5 billion tampons and 13.5 billion sanitary pads, plus their packaging, ended up in landfills or sewer systems in 1998. And according to the Center for Marine Conservation, over 170,000 tampon applicators were collected along U.S. coastal areas between 1998 and 1999.” - Environment Magazine, Inner Sanctum

• Tampons dry out your vagina and also, most tampons are made with bleached cotton and have other chemicals (like chlorine dioxide, a known carcinogen!) present as well. Why on Earth would you willingly put something like that in your body? The Diva Cup, on the other hand, is made with medical grade silicone.
  
• With the Diva Cup, there is no risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome.
• You never have to travel with a massive supply of 'supplies'.
• You only need to change it every 12 hours, and even then, its no big deal if your late. The main factor, I think, is how heavy your flow is. I've changed it once a day with no problems. If you have a heavier flow, you may need to change it more often.
  
• Amazingly, the use of a Diva Cup can diminish certain unpleasant symptoms of your period like cramps.
• Many women with endometriosis have reported amazing success, and even some relief, thanks to the use of menstrual cups. Chemicals in tampons have been known to worsen the effects of endometriosis.
• If you're athletic or like things like camping, this is the bees knees!
  
• When inserted properly, no leaks. Ever.
• No gross string and no embarrassing string incidents.
  
• Basically, I don't even notice I'm on my period any more.

And that's just what comes to mind right now! I'm sure the website lists many other great reasons to switch over.

So you think you're ready to switch over to the Diva Cup? Go here to locate the store nearest you! If there isn't one, go to your pharmacy and see if they can order you one. They should be able to do this without problem.

I know this sounds like some horrible product placement, but this really is an amazing and life changing product that is better for the environment, your health and your wallet.

Still not convinced? Perhaps this awesome squid shaped menstrual cup holder will change your mind.


Find instructions on making your own here!





* Fun anecdote: right before leaving for France, and the first time using the cup, I sliced off a huge chunk of my thumb with a mandolin. I really don't recommend doing that.

Overheard Backstage

(matter-of-factly)

"Oh. I'm bleeding."

This?

Leaves me perplexed.

Memory Lane

Last night I was going through the hundreds and hundreds of photos I've taken since the beginning of my journey with my circus. I have one folder titled "The Arrival" and it consists of photos of C and I en route to Salins for the creation.

This is a photo of me with our combined luggage.


I'm not entirely sure how we managed to get there. But I do know I'm going to miss having her with me as I continue to navigate my way through France.

So Long, C

The last few days have been exceedingly difficult for me. C performed in her final show, the switch to her replacement was made, and now she’s really gone.

C and I were in school together. She was a year below me. We had already done a contract or two together. When my circus was looking for another female artist, I thought that she would be brilliant for this show. It turns out the company thought the same and she stayed on right after her audition.

The entire experience with this circus has been trying. There have been many wonderful times too, of course, but as with anything, there’s also lots of drama. Plus, we’re both from Canada, both had to jump through the same French hoops, and bore a lot of the same burdens that only those far away from home can truly appreciate. She has been my closest confidante. And there are things going on here that I can’t share with anyone else. Now that she’s gone, I don’t know how I’ll get by. You can’t possibly imagine how lost I feel.

I miss my friend. I miss planning dinners together on our days off. I miss movie nights and teatime. I miss my rock. There are so many ways she helped keep me grounded. Who else will advise me to give my internal organs a massage before the show when I’m feeling particularly anxious?

Her last show went brilliantly and she was showered with a huge outpouring of love. Many secret, and not so secret goodbye messages were littered throughout the performance. A sign saying “So long C!” taped to the marimba, getting roses all throughout the show, her name in song, paintings in her honour, a sign held up in the technical booth at curtain call, a goodbye made before the entire audience…

After her last show, we finally had tea on top of the tent. We’d been planning on doing it for ages and never did get around to it. It was the right time. It was the only time we had left. It was beautiful.


When her replacement took the stage and C could finally sit in the audience to watch the show (the first night C was still backstage guiding D) she cried. Of course she cried. I cried for most of her last show, most of the first show without her, and at the end of the show where she was in the audience. I’m crying now. I’ll be crying for days.

It doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t seem possible. I keep expecting her to come back. As she was driven away to the train station, half hanging out the window waving, the car flanked by at least half the troupe, it felt like a dream.

I miss her tremendously. I can’t even explain. Everything I just wrote is like a single drop of water in the ocean. Truly, a light has gone out here. And not just for me. The first full day of her absence, almost everyone was reflecting on the realization that she was really gone.

The technician who pulled her in her act looked wistfully out the kitchen window and said “It only just hit me that I’m not going to be seeing that smile again…”

And I can’t even count the times where her flight status and possible location ‘right now’ was discussed. There are echoes of her everywhere. It’s always hardest for those left behind.

She gave me a string of decorative lights that had always bedecked her caravan. I admit, I always did admire them. I didn’t get a chance to tell her that I strung them up before she left and had them on throughout that last show.


They may not as bright as her own light, but it’s still nice to have a little bit of here shinning here with me.

So long, C. We miss you.

UPDATE!

Riri has been found! Almost immediately after I finished writing the previous post commemorating his Riri-ness, his master drove into the lot, Riri seated by her side! It turns out he was picked up by the SPCA.

I must say, I have never seen that dog look so happy.

Apparently Doggy Prison wasn't his cup of tea.

Welcome home Riri!

Riri

Picture a crotchety old man. And I mean seriously crotchety. Now picture that crotchety old man as a small, runty dog. You have just been introduced to Riri.

Riri is the dog of one of the kitchen staff and, like a number of other dogs, comes along on the tour when we’re under the Big Top. I first met Riri in 2008. We had started to do research for the show, but the previous show was still touring so it was only a month-long stint. At that point, there were four dogs at the circus. One was extremely obedient, one was adorable if not a little pushy, one was made of hyperactivity and craziness… then there was Riri.

Riri was mean. Not in an aggressive way, but in, well, a crotchety old man way. The doggy equivalent of “Dang kids! Git offa my lawn!” He was never one for cuddling or other such mundane dog things. Sometimes he could be found sleeping in a box of onions.

But it’s no longer 2008 and time seems to be taking its toll on Riri. It started with a sudden need to always be with his master and now rarely leaves the kitchen. He doesn’t really bark anymore (and did he ever before), and in what can only be described as a throwback to his youth, he’s started randomly humping legs.

Then, on Halloween, Riri vanished into the night. In a statement that chilled to the bone, his master announced that this time, he would not be coming back. She just knew. Riri was gone.

Say what you will about the little shit, but that is one hell of an exit.

Riri.

The dog. The Legend.

Stay Classy

It was a fine day. I was enjoying my tea on my ‘stoop’, stealing the internet as best I could, when suddenly, the peaceful calm of the circus was shattered by an overly-charismatic voice on a loud speaker. It was going on about… something… something that sounded remarkably like exotic animals and acrobats…

I looked to my left and what should I see but an entire convoy of brightly painted Circus Pinder trucks loudly advertising their show right next to our Big Top!

I mean, c’mon Pinder. Seriously? You’re seriously advertising your show by parking five or six trucks next to our tent and blaring your happy little circus promo audio clip? Seriously? Next to our tent? While most of us are outside our caravans giving you the stink eye?

Wow.

I mean…

Wow…

I stepped onto the sidewalk to get a better look at this sideshow and a man comes up to me and says, “Looks like you’ve got some competition.”

I turned to him and said, “Well, our shows aren’t anything alike. We’re much more artistic and poetic. And they’re…” then I pointed to the visual assault that was their trucks.

Subtle.
Don't think we don't see you.
This one was taken from my caravan window!

Fifteen minutes later, they moved on.

Stay classy, Pinder.

The Replacements

This is something I have avoided writing about since April. I probably should have mentioned it in June, but couldn’t bring myself to do it then either. Its almost November, the axe is about to fall, and I can’t put off writing about it anymore.

C is leaving the show.

That in itself is bad enough, but what pushed me over the edge and is really forcing me to write about the situation at hand is that L just announced that she too will need to be replaced. Only, while C gave notice in April and is officially ending her time on the tour next week, L needs a replacement for the next city.

Moreover, one of our technicians (D) is regularly replaced because he also works on another project. But now, Ch has asked to be replaced for some cities as well! D’s replacement is G. But he has (and is currently) subbing for Ch. Come the new year, however, G will be back to replacing D and so we need someone else to replace Ch. So it looks like R, our maintenance manager and former troupe stage manager, will be making his triumphant return to the stage to replace Ch for a couple of cities.

Confused?

How do you think we feel?

It is utter madness here. We’ve been in rehearsal every day since getting to Reze in order to train up C’s replacement. Personally, I feel that a lot of how the actual replacement process has been very poorly managed. I haven’t mentioned the whole replacement thing until now for a number of reasons, and that is why I will refrain from writing about the actual replacement. Not everything belongs in blogs.

But the level of stress is taking its toll. Everyone is in a terrible mood and I swear the director almost died when it was announced that L needed to be replaced. He aged a good 50 years in that moment. And L is totally the workhorse in this show. Replacing her will not be easy. In fact, it looks like they’ll need two people to replace her! If we thought the rehearsal schedule to replace C has been tough, replacing L may well kill us all.

Right now, I feel like the circus is crumbling around my feet. I’m about to lose my closest friend and confidante, and then L. And due to some other fun personal drama, it feels like I’m losing some of my other ties here as well…

I’m just planning on when is the best time to announce my departure*. You know, in order to produce the maximum amount of chaos… sigh…







* I shouldn't even have to post this, but just in case, I'm just joking!

The Invasion

Everywhere I look, I see them. They’re running between the caravans, climbing all over everything in the tent, leaving a trail of debris in their wake. They’re eating all the food. They’re screaming at every decibel. They’re using all the hot water. The washing machines are completely inaccessible, and the wait for the washroom is probably causing me kidney damage.

In short, they’re heeeeeeeeere…

It’s the school holidays in France and every child in the country is on break. Which means that every person in the troupe who has kids now has them here. Not to mention their spouse or significant other. Plus some extras people (girlfriends, sisters, etc) thrown in for good measure.

Normally, we’re twenty-five people at the circus. That includes artists, technicians, musicians, bar staff and kitchen staff. We are now forty-nine. Forty-nine!

You know how many showers we have?

One.

You know how many sit-down toilets we have?

One.

True, there’s the Turkish toilet, but I’d take my chamber pot over the Turkish toilet any day of the week. And so I do.

Personally, I can’t take it anymore. There are just too many people here. Between the pressure of having rehearsal every day, the fate of the show in tatters, random passers by soliciting information while I’m eating dinner, and screaming families consuming everything in sight (site), I going to lose it.

You may be thinking, “It’s only a week, they should all be leaving tomorrow!”

Unfortunately, you forgot to take into account that this is France. The kids actually have a week and a half off. There are at least three more days of this madness. Throw Halloween and the accompanying sugar into the mix and suddenly my desire to break things goes into overdrive. At least I got to carve a pumpkin. Stabbing something repeatedly kind of made me feel better, if only for a little while.

Just give me some space. Give me some quiet. And while you’re at it, leave me some dinner…

Roubaix

Considering I left Roubaix nearly a month ago, you’d think I’d have gotten around to writing about it a little sooner… Truth be told, Roubaix was not terribly exciting. The floor wasn’t amazing, but it was better than in Nevers, so nothing to report on that front. The city itself is often described as the Detroit of France. Our first night there N had his car window smashed and a bag of drumsticks stolen. And while I’m told there were some seriously crazy events that occurred the last time my circus played there (like a theatre technician being shot outside the theatre), things were pretty tame this time around.

The only thing that happened that I feel is worth writing about is when I screwed up my last line the night of the premiere. I messed up, I did it again, people clapped. It sucked that it was the premiere in that city, but in live performance things don’t always go as planned.

When I got offstage, my cast mate came up to me and was clearly very excited about something.

“Ok, that, THAT was circus! Normally, you go on stage and you’re beautiful and you’re elegant, and that’s great, but that’s all. But tonight, when you fell, you gave the audience this look that was like ‘Yeah, ok. That didn’t work, but when I show you what I’ve got, you’ll be picking your collective jaws off the floor.’ Then you NAILED IT! THAT’S circus! THAT’S what we don’t see enough of in this show! Yeah!”

And that was one of the best compliments I’ve ever received. And it was true that at the end of my act the audience clapped even harder than normal. That second attempt wasn’t just about me, it also became about them and they were invested. That’s one of the wonderful things about circus. The audience wants you to succeed. And when you mess up and try again, and then get the move in question, they applaud not just the number and the tricks they just saw, but they celebrate the triumph. It’s an old principle of circus and it works. Its called mounting the tension. Some people do it on purpose. Some people turn mistakes into opportunities… In the end, seeing someone fall and then seeing them get back up and kick ass becomes about the collective and not just the person doing the falling and getting back up. Suddenly, everybody wins.

Sometimes, this job feels extra good. I also discovered that looking at people makes them clap.

Weird.

And useful.

Later French Detroit!

This Guy

Is awesome.

This guy right here is what I was talking about when I said I had a final point to make about the Taschen book.

Can you imagine how awesome it would be to see a circus show peopled entirely by acrobats that looked like this guy? Chubby, bendy, non-specific European stereotypes?

Hi-larious!

Yoga Toes

This is a post that I have been meaning to write for quite some time. In some ways, it is simply inexcusable that it has taken me so long to do so. You see, Yoga Toes are of such importance, nay, are so life-alteringly amazing, that you need to know about them. And you need to know about them now.

Now you must be asking yourself, "What exactly is a Yoga Toe?"

To that I say, "Behold!"


Now, don't let the cutesy spa-like photo fool you. Those babies have nothing to do with getting a pedicure. And while you may think those little toe separators used when getting your toes all prettied up are basically the same thing, you're sorely mistaken.

Yoga Toes are made of silicone are designed to stretch apart your toes. To get an idea, spread your fingers apart as far as they go. That is what Yoga Toes do for your feet.

Now you may be wondering why anyone would want to do that, not to mention the point of it all. To explain that, I would like to tell you about my first encounter with Yoga Toes.

I first learned about Yoga Toes a few years ago while working at a 1930s style carnival. One of the other artists in the show was a slack rope walker and if anyone knows anything about foot care, its wire/rope walkers (that stuff hurts). B went on to explain how foot care is a crucial part of your overall health, and something that most people completely ignore. That is why, she went on to explain, you see so many elderly folks who have difficulty with balance and the ability to walk.

She then made a connection that has stuck with me ever since. B explained that we are connected to the world in three ways: Our eyes perceive the world, our ears submerge us in the world, abut it's out feet that connect us, or better, ground us to the world.

How could you go on ignoring your feet after that?

She had a whole array of foot care tools like rollers and whatnot. I too have since acquired an amazing foot roller that I use before every show and right after my act. It is an amazing tool and when I don't use it for a while or use it after some serious foot abuse (say, a day in heels) I really feel the effect it has on my feet.

The one I use is on the bottom left.

But the star remains the Yoga Toes.

I admit, I bought them a bit on impulse. But I have never once looked back. No exaggeration, they have changed my life.

It used to be that when I woke up in the morning, it would take a few minutes before I could fully put my weight on my feet. It was like my arches had shortened during the night and I had to lengthen them again, very slowly, in order to stand. It was quite painful. After a few weeks of using Yoga Toes, the pain vanished and I have been pain free ever since. Only later did I realize that one of the few movements that helped my feet feel better was exactly the position that Yoga Toes hold your feet in.

But that still doesn't explain what they do. How do they work? For that, I will steal words directly from the Yoga Toes website.

• By spreading, stretching and exercising toes.
• Help correct and realign foot structure.
• Strengthen and stretch foot muscles.
• Helps improve circulation and appearance.
• Balance the entire body and stimulate/improve posture.

Not only that, but they also help to improve or correct foot problems like hammertoes*, plantar fasciitis, crossed toes, and bunions!

All that by sticking some jelly things on your feet!

They recommend that the first time you wear them, you only keep them on for 10 minutes or so then build up your endurance. I, of course, thought that being a circus artist made me hardcore and planned on keeping them on as long as possible. Well, it turns out that my feet were in such poor shape that after 5 minutes the pain was too much and I had to take them off! At least I knew they were working.

Now, I take them everywhere. I don't wear them as much as I should, but on the days I know I'm going to need them, it's good to know they're there. They are a bit pricey, but they're worth it. The good news is they do go on sale somewhat regularly. I purchased my pair during a four day sale when they were 50% off, and had the good fortune of finding the pair I bought for my sister on clearance, also at 50%.

So if you're looking to pamper yourself or have tried in vain to relieve foot and leg pain due to your profession (be it circus or something that finds you on your feet quite a lot), might I recommend investing in a pair? I promise you won't be disappointed.



* Hammertoes, by the way, are somewhat terrifying. I do no recommend you Google it.

Food for Thought

Bad News Bear

November was going to be awesome for two reasons:

• My birthday.
• Performing in Portugal.

This is no longer the case as the portion of the tour slated for Portugal has been canceled.

Thanks economic crisis. What am I supposed to do for the month we suddenly have off?

Nevers Ever Again

The last few days have found my circus settled in a small town in the middle of France by the name of Nevers. I, for one, cannot wait to leave.

Don't get me wrong, the town is lovely. I get to walk by the Loire river on the way to the theatre every day. The hotel we're staying at has huge beds with big comfy comforters...

So what's the problem?

The theatre itself.

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here

Upon entering the theatre, I felt like I was visiting a penitentiary, or perhaps descending into the basement to meet Hannibal Lector. It's dark, cold and decaying. For reasons I truly cannot understand, there are no toilet seats...

But what makes this theatre truly unbearable is the floor.

Remember that time I was in La Rochelle and bitched about the floor? I take it all back. I mean, everything I had to say about the floor and the importance thereof remains true, but compared to the floor here in Nevers, the floor in La Rochelle is suddenly looking a lot more attractive.

How bad is it? Before I even finished putting together my wheel I had every single stage technician warn me about the floor. And while I can't see just how bad it is due to the dance mat that covers the stage, I certainly can feel it. And the theatre staff isn't terribly helpful on the matter either. All they can offer is "Yeah, it's pretty bad. And the area where you perform is the worst." And while theirs is the kind of floor that should be changed every 10 years, it is still the original from 1973.

The night of the run through was a disaster. If I didn't mess up a figure due to the wheel hitting some random bump or pot hole, I would have to stop and step out of the wheel to readjust its angle so as not to hit someone or something because the bumps and pot holes changed the axis of the line. I was, and still am, scared to do anything on this floor. I have no control and even with marks indicating where I should start, if I'm off by even a few millimeters, well, then its anyone's guess as to how it will go.

The first thing the director said when the dress run was finished was "So what time are you working on wheel tomorrow?" As if I didn't already know how badly it had gone...

So I spent three hours changing the act, substituting technique, rearranging sequences and hoping for the best. It wasn't as simple as just putting in easier tricks. One of the moves I messed up the night of the dress run was one of the easiest I do. But the wheel shifted, threw me to the side, killed the momentum and left me out to dry...

The first days in Nevers made me hate wheel. And even with the changes I dread doing my act. Having changed so much of the number is stressful and sometimes I get completely disoriented on stage. Suddenly realizing you started going the wrong way is hard to cover up when you're manipulating a 100lb steel wheel...

But no matter how bruised or discouraged, the show must go on. Thank the stars above that the run in Nevers is only four shows.

And just to prove I'm not exaggerating...




And remember, the part where I perform is worse than this...

One more show... just one more show...

The Classics

This is my last post about the Netherlands. I can think of no better way to say farewell to this lovely country than by giving it a truly Dutch salute!



See you in France!

GymNet Purmurend

My last day in the Netherlands was spent volunteering at an inter-disciplinary gymnastics event for the GymNet Purmurend gymnastics club. Kids from artistic gymnastics, rhythmic gymnastics, trampoline and gym wheel came together to spend the day trying the disciplines of their acrobatic counterparts.

I spent the day holding the feet of small children so that they didn't fall out of a wheel.




In the end, I was rewarded. Not only with candy and a free pen. Not only with a free t-shirt. No, I was rewarded with the greatest prize of all...


A participation ribbon!

That bad boy is on its way to some prime real estate in my trunk at the circus. Oh yeah.

Blauwe Plekken

When training at a competitive wheel club, there is one thing to be expected more than anything else: You will leave with bruises. Lots, and lots, of bruises.

Repeating movements, especially new figures where the pressure of the wheel is somewhere you're not accustomed to, is a great reminder of how far you've come and how much further there is to go. I would often leave the club with all kinds of new welts, and then wake the following morning unable to move.

Ah, learning.

The most impressive booboo?

20 minutes after impact

Three days later

I know it doesn't look like much, but bear in mind, it is directly on the tibia and over an inch long. The impact was so strong that my shin wasn't sure if it should bleed or not and took a few minutes to think about it before deciding that, yes, blood seemed like the right response to such an assault on its person. If anything hits me in the shin now, the pain is so strong that it takes about a minute before I can walk again.

Now I wish I could say I was doing some kind of cool and terrifying D element of doom, but I was working on a pretty standard figure and one leg was a bit late, which led to me slipping which resulted in the above.

The moral of the story?

Invest in shin pads.

Gym Wheel

During my extended stay in the Netherlands I had the good fortune of staying with a friend I met at the Gym Wheel World Championships back in the spring of 2009. To add to that good fortune, I was invited to train at his club!

The combination of no longer being in school and being on tour means that I haven't had a coach for wheel, well, since leaving school. Its always so nice to go train at a real Wheel Club and work with a trainer again. My friend J was really awesome and showed me all kinds of new (and difficult) skills. He seems to have faith in my abilities because we mostly worked on D elements (the most difficult kind in wheel gymnastics). There were some skills that I flat out said I didn't want to work on, because without a coach at all times, they were far too dangerous.

Simply describing them would not do the terror of those particular moves justice. I mean, how can you adequately describe the feeling of slowly letting yourself roll backwards, head first towards the floor, while upside-down, all the while holding on for dear life with forearms twisted in a very unnatural position, all because you need to "wait" for the wheel to get into the right position?

J keeps insisting that I compete at Worlds again in 2011. He even offered to represent me as my coach! It will all depend on the tour schedule of course. In theory, I'm free, but only if we don't do the optional performances, and I won't find that out until the very last minute... But you never know! Competing again makes for a great excuse to head back to the Netherlands to train!

Krokets

Before heading to the Netherlands, I was warned of something called krokets by a friend and fellow circus artist who had already been to Holland. Krokets are a popular and slightly terrifying Dutch fast food. Every time I asked what was in them, I was told that it was better not to ask, quickly followed by "all the meat".

What's particularly exciting about krokets is that they can be obtained in special snack dispensing kiosk things like the Snackomatic.


Really, they're alright. If you like deep-fried, mystery meat filled, breaded cylinders, that is. On my last day in the Netherlands circumstances were such that I ended up eating virtually nothing but krokets and their kin. Needless to say, I'm not too bummed that there won't be anymore krokets in my immediate future. But if you happen to find yourself in Holland, they should be in yours.

Kroket Man is sad.

Dutch Wheel?

Uhh...

Is it supposed to do that?

Heerlen